I was awakened with contractions in the early morning hours of Wednesday, July 23rd, the day after my due date. As soon as they began at 2:45 a.m., I knew exactly that this was real labor, as I’d been through it twice before, and that our sweet baby boy was on his way. I remember feeling relieved that my body was going into labor on its own and that I wasn’t going to have to be induced. I had an induction scheduled for Friday morning, two days later, but I really didn’t want it. I felt pretty strongly that my body would do what it was supposed to do on its own and I really didn’t want any medical intervention. The only reason I had one scheduled was for convenience purposes. I didn’t want Adam to have to take too much time off of work and I thought it would be convenient to have the baby over the weekend. Plus, if it was over the weekend, my dad was going to be able to be there.
My contractions were very painful as soon as they began. As I laid in bed, I downloaded a contraction timer on my phone and started keeping a record of how long and how far apart they were. They were each about a minute long and were coming every 8-10 minutes. I labored all night quietly, without waking Adam up because I wanted him to get some rest. I figured there was no point in both of us being exhausted the next day. I labored in bed but after I got tired of being in there, I went out to the couch and labored there for awhile. We were living with the Alba’s because our house had flooded a few weeks before. I wished I was in my own bed in my own house instead of in their basement, but at least we had a place to stay and enough space.
It seemed like forever before Adam’s alarm clock finally went off at 6:00 a.m. As soon as he opened his eyes, I leaned over and told him that I was in labor! I was so excited for him to start experiencing this with me and was especially grateful to start having his support instead of doing it all on my own. He laid with me for a few minutes and rubbed my back as I labored. We talked about how we couldn’t believe the time was finally here and that we were going to meet baby soon! He asked if I wanted him to stay with me, but because I didn’t know how long this process was going to take, I told him that he should just go to work. Putting time in at the office is really important for lawyers with those dang billable hours and all! So he showered and left for work around 7:00 a.m.
I called each member of my family to tell them that this was the real deal and that we were going to have this baby soon. My labor lasted almost 24 hours with Eli and about 18 hours with Oliver, so I thought it would take awhile. I figured I’d have the baby either late that night or early the next morning. It’s always hard to know when to go to the hospital. I didn’t want to go too soon and get sent home but I also didn’t want to wait too long and have the baby in the car! I tried to pass the time while I labored by spending time with the boys, watching tv, and working on the computer.
All the while, I timed my contractions on my phone. I was surprised how fast they were coming and how intense they were. I was in a ton of pain. I definitely couldn’t talk through the contractions and could barely handle them. While I was sitting on the couch, Eli and Oliver wanted to play. They were climbing all over me and I was feeling a little panicky and claustrophobic. They totally didn’t understand what I was going through. I kept trying to explain to them that I was in a lot of pain and that our baby was going to come out soon, but they didn’t get it. Kids!
I wanted my mom, who was staying at Jessica’s, to come over and help me finish packing my hospital bag. This house flood had really screwed everything up. She had been planning on coming up to stay with me so she could help me a few days prior to my due date and also help me after we got home from the hospital. But instead, she had to stay with Jessica and just come over to the Alba’s when I needed something. When I called her that morning, she asked if I needed her to stop at the store and get anything. I told her I did need a few things and also asked her to get me a Jamba Juice on the way over. It sounded so yummy. She said she would, and I told her to hurry.
Jane helped me with the boys. She took them to McDonald’s for breakfast and to get them out of the house so they wouldn’t be distracting and in the way while I was laboring. She brought me home an egg McMuffin which Mattie jumped up and ate when I had my back turned for a minute. I had only taken a few bites!
By about 9:45 a.m., I started realizing that this was happening a lot faster than it ever had and that I needed to get to the hospital as soon as possible. I called my mom to tell her that she needed to get there right away. I had taken a little break from timing my contractions, but when I started up again, I realized they were coming anywhere from 2-4 minutes apart and they were lasting about a minute each. This was the real deal. I started to panic a little bit and started worrying that I was going to have the baby right there at home. All I knew was that I needed to get in the shower, finish throwing the last few things in my bag, and get to the hospital.
Around 10:00 a.m., I called Adam and told him that he needed to leave work right away. My biggest fear was that he was going to miss the birth of his boy. I got in the shower right after I got off the phone with him. I washed my hair and shaved my legs as fast as I possibly could but it was hard because I was contracting really hard and trying to time them on my phone at the same time. I kept leaning out of the shower and dripping water everywhere to time the contractions. My mom finally arrived as I was getting out of the shower and I had her throw the last minute things into my hospital bag. She scurried around trying to help with whatever she could while I got dressed, blow dried my hair, and put on a little make up. I know it’s a little vain to “get ready” to have a baby, but I really didn’t want to look like crap. I had hired my friend Karen Richards to photograph the whole birth experience at the hospital and I didn’t want to look bad in the pictures!
Adam was a little irritated to see me putting on makeup and getting ready when he got back home to pick me up at 10:30 a.m. He loaded everything into the car for me while I finished my last minute things. I was feeling really anxious about getting to the hospital. I was worried I had forgotten something because my packing had been so crazy there at the end, but I figured that if I forgot something, someone could always bring it to me. Adam and I said goodbye to the boys, who were watching TV. I started crying and wanted to have a “moment” with them because of how much our lives were about to change, but they couldn’t have cared less about us leaving. They wouldn’t take their eyes off the dumb TV. They were totally oblivious to what was happening and the importance of the moment.
Adam and I paused on the doorstep to take the last picture of my belly and then we got in the car and sped away to the hospital. I hadn’t had time to finish my makeup at the house, so I had to do it in the car. The passenger mirror in Adam’s car is broken, so I had to do it while holding up a tiny compact mirror, while having contractions the whole time. It was definitely not the most comfortable way to do it and I felt like my makeup looked pretty bad. My hands were shaking and I kept having to pause because of the pain.
When we got onto I-15, I called Karen Richards, my friend and birth photographer to tell her that we were on our way to the hospital. I figured that we would just call her again after we got there and found out how much I’d progressed, but she was like, “Okay! I’m on my way! I’m leaving right now!” I was kind of surprised that she was willing to come already but I could tell she really didn’t want to miss it. I didn’t mind that she was coming right then because I didn’t want her to miss it either. It turned out that her husband Mike was off work that day so he was able to stay home with her three kids while she was at the hospital with me.
As we drove up Victory Road and looked out over the city, I felt so much excitement swell within me that I could hardly stand it. We were going to be meeting our baby within a matter of hours! All of the months of waiting, dreaming, and wishing for him were finally here. The mood in the car was filled with nervous anticipation.
It was about 11:15 a.m. when we pulled up to the valet area of LDS Hospital. Adam immediately hopped out, opened my door, and helped me out of the car. An attendant was standing there and as soon as I got out and he saw my ginormous belly, he asked me if I wanted a wheelchair. After sitting in the car for twenty minutes, all I wanted to do was walk and get the heck up there as fast as I could. I didn’t want to wait around for him to go get me a wheelchair, so I declined and we headed up to labor and delivery on our own. As we were waiting for the elevator, a chatty woman walked up next to us and started making small talk about the baby. She followed us into the elevator and kept talking. I was feeling pretty crabby by this point and the last thing I felt like doing was answering her questions. I was glad when the elevator reached our floor and we got out.
We walked up to the nurse’s station and I told them matter-of-factly that I was in labor. They asked me a few questions; how long it had lasted, whether this was my first baby, and when the last time I saw the doctor was. I told them I’d been in labor for about eight hours, that this was my third baby, and that I’d seen my doctor yesterday afternoon. I also added that there was no doubt in my mind that this was the real deal, for good measure. ;) As soon as I handed over my insurance card and ID, I was hit by a contraction so strong that I literally couldn’t stand anymore. Thankfully, there was a bench right there in the hallway, so I took a seat and waited for it to pass. It was right then and there that I decided I was done trying to do this on my own and wanted an epidural.
During my pregnancy, I had toyed with the idea of trying to have this baby naturally, without an epidural. My labor had progressed insanely quickly with Oliver and I dilated to a ten before the epidural finally kicked in. The only thing it was good for was the actual pushing, and I have always regretted getting it a little. I felt like if I’d known that everything was going to happen so fast and that it was going to be over so soon, I wouldn’t have gotten it. This time around, I told myself that I was going to play it by ear, but that if I showed signs of progressing really fast, I was going to do it without any pain medication. But as we sat in the hallway, I was done. I had been having real, hard contractions for eight hours already and they were coming really close together without letting up. I was exhausted and all I could think about was that epidural.
A nurse led us to a labor and delivery room so that I could be checked. I was given a gown and told to change into it. I went into the bathroom and changed as quickly as I could. I knew that the faster I moved, the faster I could get that blessed epidural.
I climbed into the bed and waited for the nurse to come in and check me. Thankfully, she came almost immediately. I was happy to hear that I was dilated 5 cm and that they were going to let me stay (not that I ever doubted that they would). I immediately requested my epidural. We called all of our family to let them know that this was happening and that the baby was on his way. I was feeling so excited, but so anxious to be out of pain. All I could think about was getting that epidural so I could have some relief. Adam sat at the edge of the bed and held my hand as I labored through the contractions. The pain was out of control and I was shaking. I could tell that my body was had had enough.
My mom, Jessica, Rachelle, Jane, and Karen showed up to my room at about 11:45, before the anesthesiologist. They helped keep me company until the anesthesiologist got there.
Gratefully, it didn't take too long for him to get there and administer the blessed drugs. He gave it to me at 12:12 p.m. He told me that I could lay on my side while he did the epidural, but I’ve always preferred to do it sitting up. Maybe it’s because it seems like it would be easier for the anesthesiologist if your back is straight and my number one goal is always for it to be as effective as possible. I wanted to make sure it would work, so I sat up and rounded my back while he did it.
Given how squeamish I am, it’s surprising that getting an epidural has never been very hard for me. If I let myself sit there and think about what is actually happening, it makes me queasy, but I try to not think about it too much. I always welcome epidurals wholeheartedly because they take that horrible, intense, unrelenting pain away. Adam pulled up his chair and held my hand while I had it done, but let’s be honest….. he’s never much help to me while it’s happening. He always leans forward with his head in his hands and is completely silent. I don’t think it’s that he’s worried about me as much as the whole ordeal just makes him queasy!
Adam is always very quiet during my labors. He’s not much of a birth coach. He doesn’t tell me when to breathe or tell me I can do it. He is just silent. I don’t really understand why he gets like this, but I can imagine he’s just experiencing a lot of anxiety about the new little person entering our family. He has another person to take care of! Sometimes I wish he was more involved and babied me more during labor, but this is just how he is.
I started feeling relief from the contractions after a few minutes, but only on the right side of my body. I was still feeling them pretty strongly on the left. My anesthesiologist was awesome and stayed with me for quite awhile to make sure it was working properly. I was lying a little to the right, so he had me roll over to my left so that the medication would disperse to that side of my body a little better. This was definitely the most ineffective of the three epidurals I’ve had. It took another 20 minutes or so, but I was finally numb evenly and had complete relief from the pain. Epidurals are the most wonderful, amazing, awesome inventions in the history of the universe. I don’t know how women gave birth without them for thousands of years. I always feel so completely exhausted and like I want to pass out from the pain by the time I finally get them.
The mood in the hospital room was pretty hectic because so many people were there. Everyone was talking pretty loudly and acting pretty hyper. I started feeling slightly annoyed by everyone and was starting to regret inviting so many people to be in the delivery room with us. Everyone was talking about things that weren’t even related to the birth and joking too loudly. I felt like the focus wasn’t even really on me or on the baby, and that really bugged me.
Now that the epidural had finally kicked in and I was pain free, I was feeling pretty sleepy. I wanted the room quiet and calm. I also wanted some time alone with Adam. I didn’t know how long it was going to take before our baby was born, but I knew I needed to be with just Adam and no one else for a bit. I told everyone that I wasn’t trying to be rude but asked them to leave for a bit. Everyone was cool about it and went down the hall to sit in a waiting room. Someone went downstairs to get Adam a sandwich from the cafeteria. I was feeling pretty hungry but couldn’t eat or drink anything at this point. I had someone get me some ice chips to chomp on.
The hospital had a rule that only four people could be there for the delivery, which I hadn’t known beforehand. I had five, so I wasn’t really sure what to do. I decided that if they really did make someone leave, I would ask Rachelle to be the one. She hadn’t even really expressed to me that she wanted to be there in the first place and hadn’t seemed that excited, so I knew that she was the one I wanted to leave if the hospital staff said anything.
For the next few hours, people took turns filtering in and out of my hospital room. At times it was just me and Adam, other times just our moms were in there with us, and other times everyone was in there. Everyone was a lot quieter and more respectful, which I was grateful for. If all five people on my “support team” happened to be in the room when a nurse came in to check on me, someone would hide in my bathroom so that they could try to get away with us all being there. We figured that by the time I was actually having the baby, things would be so hectic that no one would even notice that we were one person above the limit. This proved to be true. All five of the people I’d invited to be there got to stay for the birth, so I was happy.
All this time, I felt like nothing was happening. From the monitor, I could see that my contractions were coming pretty strong, but they weren’t quite regular enough to really be doing much. I hadn’t been given any pitocin to help regulate the contractions, and I wondered if that would help. After waiting for awhile, I asked the nurse if she thought that having the doctor come in to manually break my water would help speed things along. Once my water broke with Eli and Oliver, I had them very quickly. She said that we could definitely break it and that she’d request for someone to come in and do it.
By this point I was starting to feel ridiculously sleepy. It was 1:40 p.m. and I had been laboring for almost 12 hours at this point. I tried to take a nap, but I couldn’t sleep because I was too nervous and excited about what was going to happen. Instead, I just hugged a pillow to my chest and tried to rest.
I waited and waited and waited. After what seemed like forever without anyone coming to check on me, give me pitocin, or break my water, I finally pressed my nurse call button and asked what was going on. She told me that a doctor wasn’t available to break it and said there was a resident that could do it, but he was with someone else. I kept waiting.
I felt really emotional during this time, much more emotional than I’d been with my other babies. I think I was really nervous and excited at the same time. I was hit with so many different emotions. I cried off and on for hours. I was exhausted too. I wanted to sleep. I wanted to meet him. But I also didn’t want to meet him because I was afraid of how much my life was going to change. I didn’t want to be pregnant any more. I wanted to have intimate moments with Adam but I couldn’t because there were too many people there. It was a crazy whirlwind of emotion!
Around 3:45 p.m., as I was resting and in the middle of a calm, dreamlike state, I was hit with a flash of intense nausea. I sat up in bed and yelled for someone to get something for me to throw up in. My mom grabbed a garbage can and I puked. There wasn’t much to throw up because I hadn’t eaten much that day. I dry heaved over and over into the garbage can.
At this point, I also started violently shaking, just like I did right before I had my other boys. My body was in transition and I knew it was go time! I was ready! I immediately got really nervous because I knew that this was about to happen any minute. I was about to have this baby! It’s such an overwhelming feeling knowing what your body is about to go through in just a matter of minutes and that you’re about to meet your son, straight from heaven. I felt completely overwhelmed with fear, anxiety, excitement, and joy. I started crying again.
The nurse checked me again and I was complete. The whole mood in the room changed because everyone knew it was time! Everyone stood up from where they’d been relaxing and hanging out and kind of gathered around me in a circle. A few more people from the baby nursery came into the room to be there in case they needed to whisk the baby away for some reason. It scared me a little bit to have them there. The room was buzzing with activity. Everyone was preparing for the big moment, but I was just sitting in the bed, feeling nervous.
It is such a surreal feeling to know that you are about to push the baby that you’ve been growing inside you for the past 9 months out of your body, to know that you’re going to meet him within just a few short minutes. After all of the wondering about what he is going to look like, it’s strange to know that that seeing him is finally just a few short minutes away.
Even though my body was totally ready and I was feeling the urge to push, I had to wait for almost 20 minutes for the doctor to arrive, which was irritating. I started out my pregnancy seeing my favorite doctor, Nathan Ward. But when Adam got a new job in April, a few months before, I’d been forced to switch to a new practice because Dr. Ward didn’t take our new insurance. I saw Dr. Lucinda Robinson at The Avenue’s Women’s Clinic the last few months of my pregnancy, but she wasn’t on call the day I went into labor. So when the doctor that would be delivering my baby walked into the room at 4:04 p.m., I’d never laid eyes on her before. I liked her from the moment I saw her though. She was young and really smiley. Her name was Hannelle Laine. She scurried about, preparing everything for the birth. Besides Dr. Laine and my nurse, two more people from the nursery came in to be there, just in case the baby needed to be whisked away to intensive care after he came out.
I sat up and tried to situate myself to start pushing. I remember feeling like I couldn’t get comfortable. At first I was sitting up too tall in bed but after I readjusted myself, I was slumped too low. I couldn’t get my position right to feel comfortable. Adam stood on my left side and held one leg and the nurse stood on my right and held the other. Karen stood behind my right shoulder to take pictures and Rachelle stood to my right side to take video. My mom, Jane, and Jessica were all at my feet getting a front row seat to the action.
I started pushing at 4:10 p.m. Isaac’s head came out pretty easily but he got stuck at his shoulders. Dr. Laine had to rotate him to get him out, and it caused me to tear not just vertically, but horizontally. At the time it happened, I didn’t know it had happened because I couldn’t feel anything from my epidural. Looking back, I wish I’d had a conversation with her about how I’d rather have an episiotomy than tear naturally. I ended up having so many painful complications from this tear after Isaac’s birth that I could have saved myself a lot of pain if I’d talked to her about it, but hindsight is 20/20, I guess!
Isaac was born at 4:14 p.m. When he first came out, he wasn’t breathing. In the moment, I didn’t feel that worried, but now that I’ve watched the video of his birth, it scares the crap out of me. He took a realllllllllly long time to breathe. Dr. Laine had Adam cut the umbilical cord right after Isaac came out, before Isaac had even taken a breath. I could tell that she started panicking a little bit and was about to get some intervention, but thankfully, right after Adam cut the cord and Isaac was laid on my belly, he started to cry and pink up. He was pretty blue there for awhile.
Dr. Laine delivered my placenta and sewed up my tears while I snuggled Isaac on my chest. We did skin to skin, and I was in heaven. He was warm and chubby and I couldn’t stop laughing and smiling.
I always love watching Adam as he holds one of our sons for the first time. The emotion is so raw and deep.
Welcoming a new baby into our family is such a special, bonding moment between me & Adam.
Isaac was sooooo cute! I couldn't stop staring at my chubby little man.
He latched right onto my breast and started sucking away. He was a natural at breast feeding!
I loved holding him in my arms for the first time after carrying him in my belly for those long 9 months. I felt overjoyed and peaceful. Bringing another sweet little boy into the world was an incredibly spiritual experience.
I couldn’t believe it when they weighed Isaac and told me that he was 8 lbs, 10 oz, and was 20 ½ inches long. My biggest baby yet! To me, he didn’t look like he weighed as much as he did. Eli looked a lot bigger to me right when he was born. Isaac’s legs were skinny little chicken legs; Eli’s had been really thick and meaty.
We had a great stay in the hospital over the next few days. Isaac nursed and slept well and we spent a lot of time snuggling and getting to know each other. We had lots of visitors. Watching Eli and Oliver’s faces as they met their little brother for the first time is something I will never forget. Their faces were filled with so much wonder and excitement. My heart swelled with pride as all three of my boys gathered around me in my hospital bed. I felt so grateful to a Heavenly Father who loves me enough to entrust me with the care of his precious sons.
We checked out of the hospital on July 25th. Because our house hadn’t been put back together after the flood, we had to take Isaac home to the Albas. But I wanted to stop at our own home on the way and show it to Isaac. It was more symbolic than anything. I was really sad and emotional about not being able to take my baby home to the nursery that we’d put together for him. I started to feel a lot of pain as we were driving home and showing Isaac around our house. By the time I walked into the Alba’s house, I knew something was wrong. The pain “down there” got excruciating and I could hardly walk. I went downstairs to my bed almost as soon as we got home. I had to go to the bathroom, and when I wiped, I almost screamed in pain. I’d had two babies before this, and I’d never felt anything like it. I knew this wasn’t normal. I had my mom, who is a retired nurse, come downstairs and examine me because I couldn’t get a good look. She saw what looked like a grape hanging out of the stitches on my jagged, horizontal tear. EEEEK!
I immediately called Labor and Delivery at LDS Hospital where I’d just left only an hour before, asking them what to do. I asked if I could come back in and get it looked at. But they told me that because I’d already been discharged, I couldn’t come to Labor & Delivery and that if I wanted to be seen, I’d have to go to the emergency room. I couldn’t believe it! I called the on-call doctor at my OB’s office and she told me that I’d have to wait until their office opened on Monday to be seen. It was only Friday.
The whole weekend was a blur. I was in so much pain, I could hardly stand it. It was extremely difficult to sit up in bed to nurse little Isaac because I had to sit on my tear and this horrible grape-looking thing. I could feel the blood pulsing through it constantly. The pain was excruciating, much worse than giving birth or being in labor. Walking to the bathroom was almost impossible. I would grip the walls and go as slowly as I could. Someone ended up getting me a donut to sit on while I nursed and a wheelchair to ride to the bathroom in. I was on a lot of pain medicine, which I hated. It made me feel dizzy and awful. I hated not being able to take care of my boys myself. I hated being stuck in bed and not able to move around or do anything.
As soon as the OB’s office opened on Monday morning, I went in to get checked out. I saw Cynthia Cannon. It turned out that a rare kind of vulvar hematoma had formed and pushed its way through the stitches and was hanging outside my vagina. Ouch! She said there really wasn’t anything they could do about it. If the lanced it, there was a risk of a lot of bleeding. The only option was to let it go away on its own, which it did after about 3 weeks.
Despite the horrible complication that I experienced after Isaac’s birth, I would gladly go through any of it again if it meant getting Isaac here. I’m so thrilled to have him as part of our family. He had a hard time learning to sleep and was extremely collicky for the first few months of life, which was incredibly hard, but he has grown into the happiest little guy. We love him so much and are so happy he’s ours!
