Moses: 19 Months

Dear Moses,

Much to my dismay, you seem to be losing a little interest in nursing. You'll still do it, but usually only one side per nursing session. My milk supply is definitely diminishing a little. I can't just nurse you on command anymore because sometimes, I simply don't have milk in my breasts for you. Like if you wake up in the night crying, I can't just go in and nurse you because if I offer you an empty boob, you get suuuuuper pissed. Unless I've had half the night to refill, there simply isn't anything there for you. 

It makes me super sad to think that our nursing journey will probably come to an end in the next few months. I'm going to lie in bed with the shutters closed and cry my eyes out for at least a week when we're finally done. I know that once you're done nursing, you'll never snuggle with me ever again. It's my only good time with you where it's just me and you focusing on each other. I can't even think about the end.... SOB!!!

You are a terrible, rotten eater. You hardly eat a thing. Sometimes I wonder how you're still alive and growing. A lot of the time when I think back on what you ate that day, I can hardly believe it. You seem to be fine and happy though, so I don't really stress about it too much. But I just don't understand it! Why don't you  like to eat, my friend? All I ever want to do is eat! I wake up in the morning dreaming about what I can eat that day and don't stop thinking about food all day long.

You've gotten a little better at playing by yourself this month and occasionally, you'll leave my side for 10 or 15 minutes or so to play. You're also playing better with your brothers, particularly Isaac, which makes me happy. I had all you kids close together for a reason! I hope you'll always be close and that you'll develop deep, strong relationships with each of them.

You're still not talking. Like at all. The only words you can say are mama, dada, and more. I feel like you're regressed a lot with your talking. I'm not worried because I can tell you're smart and you understand what I'm saying to you, but you just can't figure out how to say things back to me. You'll get there, buddy. It's okay.

I love every stinking thing about you and love having you literally by my side all day long. Stop growing up so fast! I think back to how tiny you were a year ago and can hardly believe how much you've grown. It's pretty unfair and thrilling all at the same time. Keep up the good work.

Lots of love,

Mama

19 Month Stats:

Height: 33 inches (58th percentile)

Weight: 27 lbs (90th percentile)

Moses: 18 Months Old

Dear Moses,

Holy moly, boy! You are a pill! You get into so much trouble, I can hardly keep up with you! Just today, for example, you emptied a whole bag of cotton balls onto the bathroom floor, dumped half a box of Chex and huge handfuls of rice and walked through it all, crunching it into the floor. You spill drinks, drag items from one room to another, unroll paper towels and toilet paper, and empty the contents of drawers all day long. You also love to unplug things from outlets. Almost every night at bedtime when your dad and I go to plug our phones in to charge, we discover that our cords are missing. After looking for awhile, we usually find them tucked into some completely random place. It's exhausting!

I bought you a toy vacuum cleaner, intending it to be a gift for Christmas. You were with me when I bought it but I thought you'd forget about it. But oh no. You're no dummy. You insisted on playing with it as soon as we got home from the store and I gave in. You're hardly parted with it since. You love pushing it around the house. It's pretty cute because it lights up, making a loud vacuum noise, and the collection canister is full of confetti that spins when you turn it on. It's kept you occupied for hours, so I honestly don't mind.

You hardly eat a thing lately these days. Your top two canines broke through a few days ago and I'm sure your bottom two aren't far behind, so I'm assuming this is why you're eating so poorly. You wake up in the night to nurse occasionally. It's pretty hit or miss but I'd say it's usually 2-3 times a week. You refuse to sit in your highchair anymore which makes mealtime more difficult. I usually have to follow you around the house and feed you while you play. I'm sure this highchair refusal contributes to the small amounts of food I'm able to get into you!

You love to kiss and snuggle. You love your stuffed animals and can't sleep without them. You mastered stairs recently and daddy took the gates down finally! It's been so nice to move around the house without them in the way all the time.

Your naps are always very consistent, which is nice. You go down at 1:00, talk to your friends for a few minutes, and then fall asleep. You usually sleep anywhere from 2-3 hours. This is the only time I have during the day to get anything done. As soon as you go down, I put TV on for Isaac and spring into action! I clean, edit my clients' photos, shower, make food, or whatever else needs to be done.

You love hanging around me during the day but can also entertain yourself occasionally. If the playroom is clean enough for you to move around (which is rare!), you'll play by yourself down there. You hang out with Isaac sometimes, but he's usually too intense for you. He yells, gets in your face, lays on top of you, and steals your toys, which you do not appreciate in the slightest. Ha ha. Hopefully you'll be better friends as you get older.

Mo Mo, you're a cool cat. Thanks for choosing our family. I love being your mom and love watching you grow. Keep up the good work!

Love forever,
Mama

Moses: 17 Months Old

Dear Moses,

Your attitude has improved a little the past week or so, thank goodness. You've been so incredibly hard the past few months but you've been entertaining yourself a little better and not fussing quite as much. I don't really know the reason for the behavior change but hey, I'll take it!

You've recently started refusing to sit in your high chair which has made meal time kind of a drag. I have to follow you around the house putting bites of food in your mouth as you toddle around. You're a man on a mission and you're not about to be slowed down by being strapped into a dang high chair! Your favorite activity lately is to empty drawers and cupboards. It's a real problem. Your favorites are the kitchen drawer full of cooking utensils, measuring cups, etc, and the cupboard under the kitchen sink with cleaning products. You also like to go through the cupboards and drawers in my bathroom while I'm getting ready for the day. You like to take my perfume and makeup out and carry it around the house. I swear, I spend half my day cleaning up the messes you make!

You favorite toy these days is lighters! You know, like the kind that make fire. You fuss for them until I finally give in and hand them to you and then you walk around the house holding them up proudly. We rarely light them for you, but when we do, you think it's the greatest thing ever, naturally. You also love to wear a backpack around the house. It's my absolute favorite.

You've perfected the art of the perfect tantrum. When you're upset, you can turn on the tears faster than anyone I know, rock your whole body back and forth, and roll around on the ground. These tantrums are always very dramatic and occasionally, you'll glance over at me mid-tantrum to make sure I'm watching it. It's completely hysterical. Lately, this has happened every time I'm trying to cook and I don't let you up onto the counter by the hot stove to stir it yourself. You act like your world is going to end if I don't let you cook the hot, grease-spattering ground beef in the screaming hot pan.

You're finally learning to descend our stairs! You did the whole staircase on your own for the first time just a few days ago. I was so proud. And happy. We've had baby gates up for months now and I'm really looking forward to taking them down soon. They're kind of a pain. I'm going to wait to take them down until you've totally mastered them and I feel confident that you're not going to fall. You're our only baby that hasn't fallen down the stairs yet, so let's keep it that way, shall we?

You're becoming an even more confident walker. I wouldn't say that you're able to run yet, but you're definitely getting faster. The only time you ever fall down is when you're wearing slippery footie pajamas or socks on the hardwood floor and you have no grip.

Nursing is still going great! I'm so happy that we've made it this long. My goal is to keep doing it until you're two and right now, I doubt we'll have any problem making it that long. You still seem very interested in it. You nurse when you wake up in the morning, around 12:30 at nap time, and when I put you to bed. Your nap is usually pretty long, usually about 2 hours. Sometimes I leave you in your crib for a few extra minutes to get a little more done before you're up and tearing the house apart again!

You've gotten really bad about getting in your car seat the past few weeks. Every time I try to put you in, you stiffen your whole body and scream bloody murder. You're a strong little cuss! A lot of the time I'm sweating by the time I'm finally done wrestling you in. It's crazy! I try to make as few trips as possible because it is quite an ordeal to get you in safely.

Mo, you're amazing. I love watching your personality emerge more and more every day. You are funny, sweet, smiley, and full of opinions. I feel so grateful to be your mom and treasure my time with you. I still feel sad every time I think about you being my last baby so I try to not think about it too much. I don't know if I'll ever feel okay about it. I pray for peace and hope it will come. I wish I could bottle you up like this forever!

Oodles of love,
Mama

17 Month Stats:
Height: 32.5 inches (69th percentile)
Weight: 25.8 lbs (88th percentile)
Head Circumference: 19.1 inches (84th percentile)

Moses: 16 Months Old

Dear Moses,

You poor baby! You got all four of your molars this month. Life hasn't been fun for you lately because you've been in so much pain. When you smile really big or scream and I can see all the way into your mouth, I can't help but feel so bad for you when I see all of those big white teeth. They're huge and must have been so painful to grow in! This teething has affected your mood, your eating, and your sleeping. You've been incredibly fussy this month and have wanted me to hold you nonstop. It's so hard to get anything done when I have to carry you around the house all day. You haven't wanted to eat much this month and have been waking up in the night again most nights. It's been a little rough around here!

You've also been transitioning from two naps down to one. I was trying so hard to get you down for two naps every day and was frustrated all the time because you were frequently fighting them, so I finally gave up and only put you down once a day now. It's been hard for me to figure out what time to put you down. You usually seem crabby enough to go down early, around 10:00 or so but a lot of the time when I put you down then, you don't fall asleep. So I've pushed it to noon or 1:00 but it's hard to make you stay up that long. I've found though that if I wait that long, you'll usually sleep for about two hours, which is a nice break for me. I wish Isaac was going to preschool at the same time so that I could get a true break, but he goes to morning preschool, which means I always have at least one of you. Oh well, it's a good thing you're so cute!

I feel like you've had a little regression with your talking. You really don't say much these days! You mainly just grunt when you want to communicate. The only word you can say clear as day is "DADA!!!" which you always say with as much enthusiasm as you can muster. It's adorable. You'll toddle around saying it all day, even if he's not here. Every time I open the garage door during the day, you think it's your dad coming home from work. Even if it's 8:30 a.m. and I'm opening it so the boys can leave for school, you gasp excitedly and yell, "DADA!" as loud as you can. It's so sad. When the time finally does arrive for him to come home, you're completely thrilled. It's always the sweetest reunion. The few other words you can say are mama, poo, more, and boo (my boobs). :)

Nursing is still going well. I've dropped a feeding since you're only napping once a day now, so now I only nurse you three times a day- when you wake up in the morning, when I put you down for your nap, and at bedtime. Your morning nursing is never very good because you'd rather start your day than sit there with me, nursing. But you always nurse great for the other two feedings.

You are still a big fruit and veggie lover. You're a fan of little clementine oranges, bananas, apples, grapes, strawberries, raspberries, peaches, avocados, tomatoes, peas, carrots, potatoes, and corn. I honestly can't think of a fruit or veggie that we've offered you that you haven't liked. You also like yogurt, applesauce, hard boiled eggs, pasta, chicken, ham, ground beef, beans, etc. You really like most foods and will eat anything, as long as you're in the mood to eat. The past few weeks have been pretty hard and you haven't eaten much at all. There are days where I've looked back on your day and have realized that you hardly ate anything. But I'm not that worried about it because I figure you'll make up for it when you're feeling better. Your weight is fine and you're growing like a champ, so I'm not worried!

You have the sweetest little smile and your giggle is my favorite sound in the world. You love to be chased, tickled, and rough-housed. Your dad can get you going like no one else can. I've realized recently that you really are more of a toddler than a baby. You are starting to run around with the big kids and want to be one of them. You don't want to sit around with your parents anymore. You want to explore the world and be busy! Watching you grow is so bittersweet. My heart wants to explode with joy when I watch how proud you are when you learn something new, but I want to cry because you're slipping away from me. I wish I could keep you little forever. But watching you grow is perfect in its own way.

I wish there was a way to express to you how incredible you are, how much you mean to me, how my whole world revolves around you and your brothers and your dad. I want you to know how happy I am and how content I feel. Life is so good. It's such an incredible blessing to be living the exact life I always dreamed of. All I ever wanted was the life I have right now. I love it and I owe it all to God. Without Him, I wouldn't have the true happiness I feel inside.

I love you and am so glad you're mine.

Love for eternity,
Mama

16 Month Stats:
Height: 32.2 inches (76th percentile)
Weight: 25.6 (90th percentile)
Head Circumference: 19 in (84th percentile)

Moses: 15 Months Old

Dear Moses,

The big news of the month is that you started walking! You took your first real steps almost two weeks ago. We were at your aunt Jessica's house playing with cousins and you walked to me! I was so surprised! You took ten steps with a proud smile on your face. It was such a great moment because Jessica and Rachelle were there to see it too, but I immediately burst into tears. This whole watching you grow up thing is not for the faint of heart. The fact that you're walking now takes you one step further away from your babyhood and I can hardly stand it! I don't know what I'm going to do once you're not my baby anymore.

You finally seem to have kicked whatever was ailing your gut for so long. You've only had diarrhea a few times here and there the past few weeks. I'm so glad it's slowed down because that was really sad last month! I felt so desperate and helpless about what to do. The labs we had done of your stool all came back normal. I was grateful that there was nothing serious wrong but I felt frustrated that no one was ever able to figure out what was wrong. I mean, it was really bad. One day, you had diarrhea 20 times in a 24 hour period. Your diaper rash was horrible and I could tell you felt awful. I cut all fruits, veggies, and dairy out of your diet for a few weeks and basically only fed you carbs and proteins. I also gave you probiotics every day for weeks, which seemed to help quite a bit. I'm so glad you're feeling better!

The messes continue! You are a tornado! You are into everything, all day, every day. You love unloading the tupperware drawer, the cleaning supplies under the kitchen sink, food off the shelves of the pantry, beauty products from under my bathroom sink, and unrolling toilet paper. One of your great loves these days is the shower squeegee. You love to crawl into the wet shower after I get out and "clean" the glass. You're not very effective but are enthusiastic, so that's all I ask. :) Sometimes I feel frustrated about all of the messes, but I try to remind myself that you won't always be around to make them, so I might as well embrace them and enjoy them while they last!

You're still nursing great! I stopped pumping when you were sick and having diarrhea all the time because you were waking up so much in the night. Since you're feeling better, I haven't started up again. I feel a little guilty about it and worried that I'm going to lose my milk supply, but it's been a few weeks now and I actually think it's fine. Honestly, it's been kind of nice to not have to stand at the bathroom sink and pump before bed every night. You're still nursing 4 times a day. Once when you wake up in the morning, before your morning nap, before your afternoon nap, and at bedtime. I'm really hoping to continue nursing until you're two! I'm not going to tell anyone this because some people consider it "weird," but since we both love it so much, why stop prematurely just because of what society thinks?

Church with you is getting SOOOOOOOO hard. I left Relief Society with you in tears last week. You kept crawling up to the front of the classroom and repeatedly banging on the piano. Even after I closed it, you still figured out how to lift up the cover and play. The last straw was when you crawled up to the TV and unplugged it while the teacher was showing a video clip. She had to boot everything back up, re-enter her password, and start the video again. It took her a few minutes and it was so embarrassing! I was already feeling frustrated when this happened and you finally left me in tears. It feels so pointless sometimes to even go with you because you make it so hard. Your dad and I end up walking in the halls with you most of the time anyway. Three more months until nursery! I can't wait!!!

I love spending all of my time with you. You're a fun little sidekick, always making me laugh. I can't help but be happy around you. You brighten the room with your cheesy little grin and your enthusiasm for life. You're always so excited about everything around you. You're curious and determined. I love that about you. Keep up the good work, Mo Mo.

Lots of love,
Mama

Isaac: 4 Years Old

Dear Isaac,

You are at my very favorite age right now. Every stinking thing you say and do is adorable. I love your squeaky little voice, the freckles sprinkled across your nose and cheeks, and how you follow me around everywhere and want to do everything with me. Your presence can be a little suffocating at times but I seriously adore you. I'm going to miss you so much when you're not around all the time, just like I miss your older brothers while they're at school. It's a fun stage with just you and Moses home.

Your love of art is still strong. You still ask me to print you coloring pages, but over the past few months, you've been drawing on your own more. You sit at the kitchen table and color, draw, and paint. You love to make art for both me and daddy. You frequently ask me to tape it up on my bedroom walls and ask daddy to take it to display in his office at work. We have a plethora of art from you and I cherish every bit of it. It's so precious.

Your bedtime routine is looooong and I'm the only one you'll let put you to bed. Never daddy. You giggle and dawdle while getting in your pajamas, brushing your teeth, going to the bathroom, and reading a book or two. You love to snuggle and like to position my body just how you want it in perfect "snuggle position." I lay on your bed and let my body go limp while you move my limbs how you want them. Your current favorite is what you call "moon shape" and you like me to tickle your back while we snuggle in this position, but only with one hand. And I have to do it really, really softly. After we snuggle, we pray. You've gotten to the point where you say it all on your own most nights. I love listening to your little voice talk to God and I love hearing what you have to say to Him. Then I have to stand at the doorway and wait while you're taking a drink of water. Then I ask you if you're ready. If you say yes, I say:

"Goodnight, sleep tight,
Don't let the bed bugs bite.
Sweet dreams."

Then I blow you a kiss and you blow one back. We both say, "Caught it."

Then I say,
"Goodnight, love you. See you tomorrow." And you repeat it back to me.

It's completely adorable and frustrating at the same time. Most nights, I have a hard time putting up with the many specific demands and how long it all takes. By that point in the night, I'm DONE and I want to go take a minute for myself. It's a good thing you're so cute because otherwise, I wouldn't be able to handle it!

Right now you are working on being more patient and taking "no" for an answer. You're very demanding. Let's say you ask me for a drink of apple juice, for example. You'll say, "Mommy, get me apple juice." I make you re-phrase the question in a nicer way. Once you do, I'll walk over to the cupboard to get a cup, open the fridge for the juice and start pouring it. In the time it takes me to do this, you'll have usually yelled for juice half a dozen times. It's crazy! I'm working on it, bud! Give me a second to get it done!!! Also, instead of whining and begging every time I say no, you're working on saying, "Okay, mommy." Let's just say it's a work in progress. ;)

You're a good sleeper and usually fall asleep quickly once you decide to finally stop coming out of your room. You're usually the last one awake in the morning. You're also a good eater. You're more willing to try things than any of your brothers. I've been so busy with my new photography business and taking care of fussy Moses this past little while that I've let eating healthy foods slide. Most days it's chicken nuggets, mac & cheese, Little Caesars pizza, and cereal. I'm trying to not be too hard on myself about it. This is not my season of life to be making healthy, extravagant meals.

One of my favorite things about you is how silly you are. You love to say words wrong on purpose to get a laugh. You're always trying to make people laugh. You are my little buddy and are more attached to me than any of my other kids have ever been. Sometimes you won't play at other people's houses because you don't want to leave me. It's sweet.

I can't wait to continue watching you grow, learn, and mature. Good things are going to come to your life, I just know it. You are a special little boy and I feel overwhelmingly blessed to be your mom.

Loads of love,
Mama

4 Year Stats:
Height: 41 inches (70th percentile)
Weight: 39 lbs 6 oz (75th percentile)

Moses: 14 Months Old

Dear Moses,

You are so much fun, but you're getting so hard! I always forget how hard one-year-olds are. Every time I have a baby that reaches this age, I'm like, "Oh yeah!" You're busy, busy, busy! Always on the move, always getting into trouble. You go through the contents of cupboards and drawers constantly, tossing everything onto the floor and spreading the contents through the house. I truly can't try to load the dishwasher while you're around because you toss everything out faster than I can load.

You're fussy a lot because you're frustrated that you're not able to do more than you are. You still aren't walking but are walking around furniture a lot. You have also stood on your own for a few seconds at a time but every time you realize you're doing it, you quickly sit down. It's like you do it by accident. You've stared throwing the funniest little tantrums when you don't get your way. You throw your body around dramatically and hit your head on the floor while rolling around. It's hilarious to watch!

I'm getting a little concerned because you've had diarrhea on and off for a few weeks now. It started when we were in St. George visiting Ama and Pop Pop. We took you boating at the lake and it was 110 degrees out. It took longer than I thought it would to get the boat into the water so you were sitting out in the heat for a long time. When we got home that afternoon, you started having diarrhea, and it ended up lasting for days. It went away for a few days and came back again. We can't seem to get it under control. Your poor little bum has had the worst diaper rash and it breaks my heart. Every time I have to wipe you, your little legs quake and you cry because it stings so bad. We can't figure out if the diarrhea is related to this unrelenting heat we've been having, something you're eating, or something else.

You haven't been talking much these days but are making these loud yelps when you want something that make you sound like a monkey. The clearest word you say is "Dada." It's your favorite word and when daddy is in the room, you point to him and say it nonstop. It melts his heart. Every morning when he's trying to get out the door for work, you repeat "Dada!" in the sweetest little voice and he can't leave! All he wants is to stay home and be with you!

You'll still take two naps a day as long as I put you down at the right times. I've found that if I put you down exactly two hours after you wake up in the morning and again three hours after you wake up from your first nap, you'll always go to sleep. It's not always possible for me to be this precise and if I miss these windows, you struggle to fall asleep and will then only end up taking one nap.

You've started getting a little more adventurous when it comes to rough-housing. You laughed instead of crying for the first time when daddy threw you up in the air recently. You're also getting more interested in throwing yourself into the pile of brothers when they're all on the floor wrestling.

Road trips are a nightmare with you at this age. Our trip to St. George recently was a total disaster. You screamed for 90% of the car ride, even when I was sitting in the back seat between Eli and Oliver, handing you toys, singing you songs, and playing peek-a-boo with you. You refuse to sleep in the car and want nothing more than to get out. You're not cool with being strapped down and you're not afraid to let us know it! We have another road trip coming up when we go to Sun Valley next week and I'm nervous about it!

You're getting good at climbing stairs and want to spend most of the day making your way up. The problem is that you don't know how to get down yet, so I end up carrying you down over and over. You still love outlets and love unplugging things that should stay plugged in. You love to crawl under the computer while I'm working and turn it off. You're getting more and more personality every day and as hard as you are right now, I'm completely obsessed with you. You're a dollface! Keep up the good work growing, developing, and becoming a great boy!

I'll love you forever,
Mama

14 Month Stats:
Height: 31 inches (62nd percentile)
Weight: 24.4 lbs (86th percentile)

Eli: 8 Years Old

Dear Eli,

You're getting baptized soon! That makes me feel OLD! I can't hardly believe I've been a mom for eight whole years. It's gone by so fast but at the same time, I can hardly remember life without you. Being a mom has made me happier than I ever imagined. My whole life is dedicated to making sure all of your physical, emotional, and spiritual needs are met. I try my hardest every single day and I hope I'm doing a good job. Sometimes I feel completely overwhelmed by the responsibility and I worry I'm not doing enough.

You're doing great in school. The thing I'm most impressed with is how well you're reading. You love to read for fun and will spend hours every week just sitting on the couch with a book. The books you like to read are pretty disgusting, mostly the "Captain Underpants" and "Dogman" series, which are full of potty humor. But I honestly don't mind too much because whatever gets you reading is fine with me!

We just took a trip to Boston together, which was one of my favorite memories with you to date. It was heaven spending a few days with just the two of us. I can tell that it made you feel so special to have me to yourself. We took a red eye on the way there are I was a little nervous about how you'd do on the airplane all night, but it actually went better than expected. You were a champ! I let you stay up super late watching movies on the screen in front of you, and you finally fell asleep on my lap at like 1:00 am and slept until we landed at 5:00 am. We picked up the rental car, drove to my friend Aubrey's house, and crashed there for a few hours.

You were the ring-bearer at my friend Jourdan's wedding, and you couldn't have been cuter walking the ring up the aisle. My favorite thing about the whole event though was your dancing at her wedding reception. I've never seen you dance in your entire life but once she took you onto the dance floor, you went to town! You were spinning, jumping, dancing in the middle of the circle, and showing off for everyone. I was floored. I couldn't stop laughing and cheering for you! When we were walking back to the car at the end of the night, I asked you why I'd never seen you dance before. You replied, "I just don't like showing off." Ha ha, too cute! :)

While we were in Boston, I learned how slowly you move. You were always 5 strides behind me wherever we went. I felt like I had to drag you everywhere. I also learned that you're an extremely anxious traveler, just like your dad. You were constantly worried that we were going to miss our flight, not get back to our parking meter in time, or get to places when we needed to be. It was hilarious to to realize how similar you two are.

We've been spending a lot of time at Lagoon this summer. You love going and I don't mind taking you because you and your brothers are usually really good for me there. Those season passes were so expensive that want to feel like we're getting our money's worth, dang it! You're such a big talker and always tell me that you're going to go on the big rides but when it comes down to it, you're too scared. Hopefully next summer I can convince you to try some new rides.

You're an emotional kid but usually keep it bottled up inside. You don't say much and don't have very strong positive reactions to anything. Like if something fun or exciting happens, I'll have to ask you whether you liked it. Like when we were in Boston, I couldn't really tell if you were having fun or whether it meant anything to you. But then you said some things weeks later that made me realize it was the highlight of your life. Ha ha.

You still loooooooove to snuggle. You beg me to climb up into your bunk bed with you and tickle your back while we talk. We always do "Rose and Thorn" where you tell me the best part of your day and the worst part of your day. This is when you open up to me the most, so I always try to make it a priority to do it so that I can hear about what's going on inside that mysterious head of yours.

Eli, you're a great kid. I feel so lucky to be your mom. I can't wait to see how you do in 3rd grade this upcoming school year and watch all you accomplish. Thanks for being such a great big brother and example to your brothers.

Love you lots,
Mama

8 Year Stats:
Height: 51 inches (69th percentile)
Weight: 60 lbs, 6 oz (62nd percentile)

Moses: 13 Months Old

Dear Moses,

Time keeps slipping away and you're growing up right before my eyes. You are starting to slim down. Don't get me wrong, you're still squishy with lots of rolls and knuckle dimples, but you seem to be getting longer and your face is looking a lot older to me lately. Quite a few people have actually commented to me lately how you're looking older all of a sudden. Every time someone tells me that, I get a lump in my throat and tears sting behind my eyes. I can hardly stand it! My last baby is losing his babyhood!!!

You've started resisting your afternoon nap the past few weeks. I lay you down every day but you probably only fall asleep about half the time. I've tried putting you down later and earlier but nothing is really helping. I can't quite figure out what the magic formula is to get you to fall asleep. If you don't take two naps, you're super crabby in the late afternoon and evening which makes it nearly impossible to get anything done. I try my hardest to make dinner and keep the house clean, but if it means that you're screaming the whole time, I'd rather hold you. Your dad comes home to a messy house and cereal for dinner a lot more often than I'd like to admit, but I can only do so much.

You mastered crawling a few months ago and are now getting good at walking along furniture. You love walking around the couch, coffee table, bar stools, kitchen table and chairs, bathtub, etc. A few days ago, you stood all on your own in the middle of the family room! Daddy was holding your hands and he let go after you were stable. You held yourself up proudly for a few seconds before you sat back down. It was so cute but at the same time, I wanted to knock you down because I'm nowhere near ready for you to walk! The past few days, I've seen you attempt to stand up from the middle of the floor without holding on to anything. You haven't figured it out yet, but I'm sure it won't be long before you do.

You were sick this month with a fever, a few sores on your lip, a teeny tiny rash on your hands, feet, and knees, and a horrible appetite. I took you to the pediatrician because I suspected it was hand foot and mouth disease, even though you already had it a few months ago.  He diagnosed you with something called gingivostomatitis and told me you weren't contagious anymore because the fever was gone. I took you to the gym daycare two days later and was totally embarrassed when the employees called me during my workout to tell me that I needed to come pick you up because they were positive you had hand foot and mouth. I felt terrible but had only taken you because you seemed like you were doing better and because your pediatrician had said you didn't have it. But they ended up being right because now skin is peeling off of your hands and feet, a classic sign of hand foot and mouth. Oopsies! I felt terrible!

You've been incredibly fussy the past few days and I can't figure out why. You're definitely not sick, so either you're just going through a phase or you're teething. I'm in Boston right now with Eli for my friend Jourdan's wedding and I'm afraid you're not going to nurse when I get home. I definitely want to nurse you until you're at least 18 months. It'll probably be fine, but it's still a little scary to see what you do when I get home. This is the first time I've ever left you and I miss you like crazy! I know that grandma Janie and daddy are taking good care of you while I'm away though.

You have been doing this funny little tongue trill/roll lately whenever you get excited about something, especially when you see fans. I can never quite replicate it. I don't know why you do it. Maybe you're speaking the wrong language. Your true tongue is Spanish and you wish you could be rolling your R's all day long. Ha ha.

You have eight teeth now, four on top and four on bottom. You're developing a little gap in between two of your teeth on the bottom and it's pretty adorable. You teeth seem to be getting bigger every day and it makes me sad because it makes you look older. Ahhh, why can't I slow time down?!

You are the biggest wuss! Any kind of thrill whatsoever freaks you out. If daddy even raises you up into the air, you can't handle it. I'm not talking throwing you up in the air, but just raising you up above his head. Swinging you too fast on a swing results in some pretty hilarious faces too. None of our other boys have been like this at all. You don't like thrills, and you know what? That's okay! Maybe someday.....

Mo, you're the sweetest little guy, full of spunk and personality. I feel so blessed to spend my days (and lots of nights!) with you. You're my ray of sunshine. Keep being rad.

Love,
Mama

13 Month Stats:
Height: 30 3/4 inches (70th percentile)
Weight: 23.6 lbs (82nd percentile)

Moses: 12 Months Old

Dear Moses,

I can't believe you are one year old today! I have spent the last few nights crying myself to sleep, feeling incredibly sad and anxious about this big milestone in your life. I know it's not like you're going to change overnight just because you're one now, but it somehow just feels different. Now, when someone asks how old you are, I'll simply say you're one instead of telling them how many months you are. To me, it feels like the end of an era, the closing of a chapter of my life. I can't come to terms with the fact that you're my last baby. It doesn't seem real that having babies and raising them for the past eight years is now over and I have to move on. I am having a really hard time with it. I start crying every time I let myself dwell on this fact. I'm grieving the loss of your babyhood, all of my boys' babyhoods and it feels really awful.

We had a little birthday party for you today here at our house. We had all of the Albas over and had a BBQ and a little smash cake for you. Everyone gave you presents and you had fun ripping everything open. You didn't do much with your smash cake besides poke at it. At the end you started digging into it, not to eat it but to see what was inside. Out of all of my boys, you were probably the best at making a mess. As everyone was gathered around you singing happy birthday, I couldn't help but cry thinking that this was the last first birthday party that I'd ever be able to throw for one of my babies. It's heartbreaking for me, I tell you!

You are still the happiest little guy. You recently figured out how to clap and love clapping for everyone and everything. You love getting a reaction from us when you do it. You smile nonstop and look at us proudly whenever you're performing one of your party tricks. You love making funny sounds with your lips, waving bye-bye, and making your little stink face where you scrunch your nose up. You're so much fun. I always feel so proud of you because of how happy, handsome, and adorable you are. You're such a joy in my life.

You are a great sleeper! Your naps have both been pushed back a little, but you still take both of them happily. I know it's just a stage and you won't always sleep like this, but I'm enjoying it while it lasts. You wake up around 7:30 every morning, go down for your first nap around 9:30 or 10:00 a.m. and then for your second nap around 2:30 or 3:00 p.m. You go down for the night around 7:30 p.m. Every time I take you up to your room for sleepy time and put you in your bed, you squeal with excitement at the sight of all of your stuffed friends. I zip you into your sleep sack and you nuzzle up to your friends, and go right to sleep. It's the cutest.

You're still nursing, and I hope to keep nursing you until you're at least 18 months. I wouldn't say that you've lost interest in it, but you haven't been staying at my breast for as long. You usually only nurse for a minute or two at each side and then you pull off and you're done. Sometimes I make you do each breast twice in order for you to fully drain them, but usually you're content only nursing for a few minutes. I've wondered if my milk supply is decreasing but it's hard to say. I nurse you in the morning when you wake up, before each of your naps, and before bed. You never wake up in the night anymore, so I always pump before I go to bed. I want to make sure I have enough milk for you because if I'm not careful, it might dry up!

You have five teeth now! Two on top and three on the bottom. The two to the side of your top front teeth are bulging and look incredibly painful but haven't broken through yet. It seems like they're taking forever! It's been almost two months. I'm sure it's going to happen any day now. I know I've said that before, but they seriously must be really close!

You're a great eater, at least when it comes to fruits and veggies. Sometimes that's all I can get you to eat, but you sure love your fresh food! I don't think there's a fruit or veggie that you don't like. Blueberries, grapes, watermelon, pineapple, oranges, raspberries, peas, and carrots are your favorites. You also really like pasta, scrambled and hard boiled eggs, yogurt, beans, and applesauce. Meats are not your favorite, probably because they tend to be hard to chew.

I love and adore you, Moses. I live for your cheesy little grins, your snuggles, and soft skin. I love pressing my cheek against yours and being skin to skin with you. You're the best. Keep up the good work.

You're my everything,
Mama

12 Month Stats:
Height: 30.3 inches (73rd percentile)
Weight: 22 lbs, 10 oz (73rd percentile)
Head Circumference: 19 cm (98th percentile)

Oliver: 6 Years Old

Dear Oliver,

Hey there, buddy. You're a great kid. You know that? You're kind, sensitive, inquisitive, smart, and an incredible brother, especially to Moses. No one can get him laughing like you do. You get down on the floor to play with him all the time and love to make him giggle by being silly. When he wakes up from his nap, you like to be the first one to go into his room. You climb into his crib and play with him. You pile stuffed animals, burp cloths, and blankets in and then throw them on top of him, up into the air, and at the ceiling fan. Moses shrieks with laughter and it makes me so happy. I love watching you play together. You're the most helpful with him of all my boys. I can always count on you to help make him happy if he's sad.

You love to have friends over to play but frequently get your feelings hurt while you're together. You are always telling me how mean people are to you and what they said or did to make you feel bad. You don't stand up for yourself very often and it makes me sad. You seem to get excluded from groups a lot whether it's by your own doing or whether people are leaving you out. I'm not saying you don't have friends because you do! But you tend to gravitate towards hanging out on your own a lot. I think being able to entertain yourself is a good quality to have.

I just went back and re-read your last blog post, and honestly, not a lot has changed. You still love TV and computer games. You're still a picky eater. You're still wetting your pants at night. I've talked to the pediatrician about it and he says there's not a lot we can do. I've tried bribing you will all kinds of treats and toys, encouraging you to wake up dry, but you simply can't do it. You're too deep of a sleeper to wake yourself up in the night or to hold it. You wear pull-ups to bed and probably will for the foreseeable future. Oh well. You'll get over it eventually (I hope!) ;).

Oliver, you are a spiritual boy. You love hearing stories from the scriptures and telling me in detail what you learned about at church. You're not embarrassed to bear your testimony. In fact, a few weeks ago, you came into mine and your daddy's bedroom in the evening and asked us if you could bear your testimony to us. You started in a very formal, serious way, and Eli walked in and started snickering at you when he heard what you were doing. You burst into tears. It was the saddest thing, watching you crumble after you'd been so vulnerable with us. Eli got in BIG trouble and it took awhile to convince you that we wanted to hear your testimony. It was so pure and sweet and melted my heart.

You're the king of bedtime stalling. Of all my kids, you're the one who's capable of coming up with the most excuses about why you can't go to sleep yet. You're hungry, you're hot, you're not tired, you want daddy to read more to you, you're scared, you have a growing pain, you have to poop...... The list goes on and on. I wish you'd just go to sleep when it's time to sleep! Ahhhhh!

You have a sweet soul. You're naturally good. You are kind, sympathetic to others, and caring. I learn from you every day through your example. Sometimes I feel like you should be the parent, not me. Ha ha. I have a long ways to go to be like you! I love you so much and feel incredibly honored to have you as a son.

Love to the moon and stars,
Mama

6 Year Stats:
Height: 46 3/4 in (75th percentile)
Weight: 48 lbs (70th percentile)

Moses: 11 Months Old

Dear Moses,

I can't believe there's only one more month until you're a big one year old! I've actually been feeling a lot of anxiety about it. Every night when I'm trying to fall asleep, I get filled with dread about your upcoming birthday. I know it sounds dramatic, but my heart starts racing when I think about it and I feel sick to my stomach. I feel like once you turn one, it's all downhill from there. Sob! I'm living smack dab in the middle of the best time of our life together, and the the thought of it being over soon makes me want to cry. I can't believe I don't get any more babies! I have to say though, if it has to be over, you're a great one to go out on. :)

You continue to be as sweet as can be. People are always commenting on how you always seem to be smiling. It's true! You rarely act sad or annoyed about anything. You love to make eye contact with people and are quick to give them a big cheesy grin. You have such a calm temperament. Holding your warm, squishy body against mine is the best thing in the world. I can't get enough of you! I kiss you and squeeze you all day long!

Your biggest accomplishment of the month is that you FINALLY started crawling! A few days after you turned 10 months old, you took off and haven't looked back since. You're getting faster and more confident every day. Your newfound freedom has caused newfound mischief. You're constantly getting into cupboards and drawers, pulling things onto the floor and making messes everywhere you go with a big smile on your face. As annoying as it is to be cleaning up after you all the time, I love watching how proud you are of yourself. It's adorable.

You're my first baby to be really into outlets. I have to watch you carefully because you're always trying to stick things into them. Your favorite activity is to pull out the night lights that we have strategically placed around the house. You've scratched up quite a few walls with the metal prongs. Your favorite toys these days are straws and napkins. For some reason, you have very strong feelings about them and are happy as a clam while you're playing with one or the other. You love to eat napkins. Whenever we take them away from you or try to pull the soggy napkin bits out of your mouth, a big tantrum ensues. You arch your whole body back and scream while rocking back and forth. Don't mess with your napkins or straws!

You take one nap at 9:00 a.m. and another at 1:00 p.m. like clockwork. You're on a great schedule. You almost always fall right to sleep. I like that it's predictable so I know when I can get out of the house. I usually nurse you to sleep and I don't even feel bad about it because we both love it so much. I love that quiet time I get with you where I can just focus on you. We don't have enough of it because of all your big brothers who, despite being older than you, still don't do much for themselves. You go to bed around 7:30 every night. Sometimes you sleep through the night, sometimes you don't. It's a toss up.

You had hand, foot, and mouth disease a few weeks ago. It started with fussiness, followed by a low grade fever that only lasted for like half a day. Your appetite was terrible for a few days and we noticed a little dot on one of your fingers. It spread all over your hands and feet. It really wasn't too bad but looked a lot worse than it was. I kept you out of public for a whole week because I know how contagious it is. The skin on your fingertips, toes, and palms is peeling off right now in big sheets, several layers deep. It's so gross and weird. I feel bad for you!

You're still pooping a ton, usually three, sometimes even four times a day. You always poop while you're in your bed. You're poopy when you wake up in the morning and after both of your naps. Sometimes you manage to squeeze one more out somewhere in between. You've gotten a little pickier with your food and aren't eating quite as much lately. I think it might be because you're teething. You still just have four teeth but the top two right next to your front teeth are going to break through any day. Your gums look swollen to me. I wish they'd hurry up because I hate you feeling miserable!

I've stopped letting you look out the window while you're nursing so now you're doing better because you're not trying to sit up all the time. I found you standing in your crib for the first time a few days ago. You've pulled yourself to standing a few times on various things around the house like drawers, chairs, and baskets, but you're still not doing it a ton.

I know I say it all the time, but you are pure MAGIC. Everything you do is so adorable that I want to eat you up. I am trying my hardest to soak up every minute with you because your babyhood is slipping away from me every single day. I love pressing my cheek against yours and feeling your soft skin up against me. I love your squishy legs, your big belly, your finger dimples, the fat padding on the tops of your feet, your tiny fingernails, and your long eyelashes. I love the way you point at things so delicately at things you want me to see and the way you grind your four little teeth together. You are a miracle and I feel honored to witness your life alongside you every day. I love you more than words can express.

Love for eternity,
Mama

11 Month Stats: 
Height: 30 inches (76th percentile)
Weight: 22.0 lbs (73rd percentile)
Head Circumference: 18.8 inches (95th percentile)

Moses: 10 Months Old

Dear Moses,

Your little personality is getting feistier and more fun every day! Your newest party trick is to shake your head violently back and forth as if you're saying "No, no, no, no, no!" while you laugh. You think it's hilarious. You do it all the time, even if you don't actually mean no. You love to stand up while holding onto things like a couch, coffee table, or the back of a chair. You always give this proud little laugh while you do it as if to say, "That's right! Look at me! I'm a big boy and I'm standing!" Despite being fairly stable while you do this, I still don't feel totally comfortable leaving your side. I'm afraid you'll topple over and hit your sweet little head.

You have become a terrible nurser this month and I'm actually getting pretty worried about it. The problem is that you're too curious and busy to want to take a break in my arms. Nursing is so boring! You'd rather be exploring! A big part of the problem is that your rocking chair is right next to the window in your room and one of your all-time favorite activities is to look out the window to see what's happening in the world below. So what ends up happening almost every time lately is that you'll nurse until my milk lets down but then you'll remember about the window and you'll try to sit up and twist your body so you can get a good view. I used to let you do this, but now, every time you try to sit up, I cut off the nursing session and put you in your crib immediately. I want you to know that nursing time is not play time. I'm hoping this is just a phase that you'll grow out of soon. I'm not going to let you quit nursing without a fight! I've nursed all of your brothers until at least 18 months and I want to do the same with you if you'll have it.

We got you your first hair cut a few days ago. I bawled through the whole thing. I felt so emotional seeing your precious little locks get cut off and fall to the ground. You look so much older to me now! I can hardly stand it! But I have to say that your hair does look a lot better now. Much cleaner and less sloppy. I saved your hair in a little baggie and put it in your baby book so we can always remember the sweet golden color of it.

Your fourth tooth just broke through your gums a few days ago. You look so cute! Your two top teeth are growing in with a little gap in between them, just like Isaac's did when he was your age. I love it so much! You are too cute for words! I just want to squeeze you and kiss you all day long, which I pretty much do. Stop growing up!

So a few weeks ago, I got really sick of waking up with you in the night. I realized how ridiculous it was to be nursing a 9 1/2 month old twice a night. So I woke up with you for your first feeding around 1:00 a.m., but when I got back in bed, I turned the baby monitor completely off so I wouldn't hear you when you woke up for your second feeding. I figured that since I had just fed you, you really didn't need to eat again two or three hours later. I'm sure you woke up and screamed for awhile but I don't even know because I couldn't hear you! I felt a little bad, but you seemed fine in the morning. I did this for two nights in a row and then you started sleeping through the night again! Yay! I should done it sooner!

You are down to two naps; one at 9:00 a.m. and one at 1:00 p.m. It's hard for you to go from when you wake up at 2:00-2:30 until bedtime around 7:00 or 7:30, but no matter how many times I try to put you down for a quick nap around 4:30 or so, you never fall asleep. Late afternoons and evenings with you are hard which is inconvenient because that's when I have all four of you home and I'm trying to help your big brothers with homework and make dinner. I'm always so happy to see your dad when he walks in the door! I hand you off to him pretty quickly because by that point, I am DONE!

You're still not quite crawling, but are so darn close! You get up on your hands and knees and rock back and forth, usually making one or two little moves forwards, but you don't get far. I'm sure you're going to really figure it out any day now and use it as your main mode of transportation. I sure hope so because you've been so frustrated lately. I feel like I don't know what to do with you all day! I move you from one spot in the house to another. You spend a lot of time sitting on the floor while I get stuff done. There are always a million things to do and I feel terrible, but I can't hold you all day! You fuss a lot and get bored. Getting out for a walk or running errands with you always helps.

It's getting ridiculously hard to change your diaper and dress you. Whenever I lay you on your back, you roll over immediately and try to crawl away. The worst is when you move while I'm trying to change a poopy diaper. I mean, come on, man! Help a sister out!

You're so much fun. I know I always say it, but everything you do is adorable and hilarious. You're an amazing little boy with a wise soul. I love looking deep into your eyes and dreaming about your future. I know wonderful things are in store for you!

Love,
Mama

10 month stats: 
Weight: 22.2 lbs (84th percentile) 
Height: 29 1/4 inches (69th percentile) 
Head Circumference: 18.8 inches (97th percentile)

Moses: 9 Months Old

Dear Moses,

You've officially been out of my belly for as long as you were in, which is crazy to me. Time is flying by! I wish I could bottle you up and keep you just like this forever because you're as sweet as can be. Your personality is getting more and more fun all the time. You've started dancing whenever music is playing. You bounce your little body up and down with a serious look on your face like you're really into it. It's hilarious. Tonight, you waved bye-bye for the first time! Your dad was taking you up to your room to get you in your pajama's for bedtime and you waved bye-bye to Grandma Janie, who was over. It was quick and you wouldn't repeat it, but it was very clear and deliberate the one time you did it. You had a big grin on your face and were very proud of yourself, probably because we made such a fuss over it.

You still just have two itty bitty teeth, both of which are incredibly sharp. You playfully bit me while nursing about a week ago, and broke the skin. Now every time when your nurse, the wound re-opens and bleeds. Not fun! It seems like it's taking forever to heal. I wince every time you latch on. I would never give up nursing you though, no matter how much pain I was in. I love it so much. I love feeling your heavy, warm body against mine and feeling you get limp as you fall asleep while you eat. It's the sweetest feeling in the entire world. I can hardly accept that you're my last baby I ever get to nurse and the thought of it makes me tear up every time I think about it. I might have to nurse you until you're five just to cope, emotionally. Sorry!

You can't crawl yet but you sure wish you could. It's actually been hard lately because I can tell that you're frustrated that you can't make your body do what you want it to do. You want to crawl around, explore, and be more mobile, but I basically have to just set you on the floor and leave you there with a few toys around you. You get bored and fussy easily. I feel like I don't know what to do with you all day. I alternate between holding you, sitting you up, and laying you on your belly. When you're sitting up, you can pivot in 360 degree circles and when you're laying down, you can pivot and even scoot yourself backwards. But you haven't figured out how to get up on your hands and knees yet. You love to stand supported up against something like the couch, a chair, the fireplace mantle, etc. You're getting steadier every day but you're definitely still wobbly enough that I would never leave you standing without supervision.

Your appetite this past month has been ravenous! You will eat anything, anywhere, anytime. I love watching your tiny little mouth gumming your food while you drool everywhere. It's so adorable. You've gotten in this habit lately where you love to rub whatever you're eating into your hair. I'm talking all through your hair- the front, back, and sides. It drives me nuts! I usually end up having to wash it with dish soap at the kitchen sink after most meals. Lots of eating means lots of poop! You poop at least three times a day, sometimes even four or on a really bad day, five. It's so gross!

You've been waking up super early these days, usually between 5:30-6:30 a.m. Your dad has been amazing and has been waking up with you in the mornings while I sleep in. He feels bad for me because I'm still nursing you in the night, so he takes the early morning shift. Because you're up so early, you are usually dying for a nap by like 7:30 or 8:00 a.m. I hardly even count that nap as a nap but more like an extension of your nighttime sleep. You then take another nap around  11:30 a.m. or noon and another around 4:00 or 4:30 p.m.

Your hair is getting long, flat, and wispy. You really need to get it cut but I'm putting it off as long as possible because I know it's going to make you look like such a big boy and I don't know if my mama heart is ready for that! I want you to be my little baby as long as possible! But I'm getting close to being ready for the hair cut because it's starting to drive me nuts every time I look at you.

You say mama all day long and have started calling for me when you wake up from your naps. I can hear you on the baby monitor yelling, "Ma ma ma ma ma!" over and over. It melts my heart!

Mo Mo, you're so much fun. I love hanging out with you all day. I love your two little teeth, but big cheesy grin, and your happy attitude. You bring so much joy to my life! I feel so incredibly blessed to have another healthy, happy little boy to take care of!

Love forever and ever,

Mama

9 month stats: 
Weight: 21 lbs, 4 oz (77th percentile) 
Height: 29 inches (77th percentile) 
Head Circumference: 18.7 inches (98th percentile)

Isaac: 3 1/2 Years Old

Dear Isaac,

The past six months with you have been incredibly hard. Sorry my friend, but there's no other way to put it. You have been whiny, demanding, needy, and irritating. Every day with you is a struggle. I wake up with a pit in my stomach wondering how I'm going to get through the day with you. It's been rough. I think you've been acting out because our life has been pretty crazy the past little while with the birth of Moses, trying to sell our house, moving in with the Albas, and moving into our new house. There has been a lot of change lately. Every time I ask you how you feel about all of the changes that are taking place, you don't act like you're upset about any of them. But you must be, because this bad behavior has to be for a reason, right?

You are my little artist. You color all day long. You're funny though because you won't color from coloring books but always want us to print you coloring pages from whatever you can think up that day. Sometimes they're totally random. You'll want a picture of a character from your favorite book or TV show, whatever holiday you're thinking of in that moment, or sometimes just random objects. I've finally started to limit you to two printed coloring pages a day because for awhile there, it was getting out of control. You were having us print you like 10 a day and refused to color anything from a coloring book or your own imagination.

You started preschool this fall and seem to really like it. I feel like you don't learn much there and are pretty silly during class, but you don't protest when it's time to go, so that must mean that you enjoy it. Because of the timing of school drop-offs, we always have about 15 minutes to wait in the car together before class starts so lately, I've been using that time to read to you or quiz you on your alphabet letters. You can't recognize very many yet, but we're working on it! I'm sure you'll get better with time. I know you love having this one-on-one time with me though and I love it too. I wish I had more time to give you undivided attention during the day, but I try to give you little moments here and there.

My relationship with you is very bipolar. One minute I feel like I can't get enough of you because you say the most adorable things and the next I feel like I'm going to explode if I don't get a break from you. You're a very intense child! You have the loudest voice of any of my children. You truly don't know how to talk any other way than to basically yell. We've had quite a few issues with you waking Moses up from naps with your loud voice. No matter how many times I beg you to be quiet, you simply don't know how. Maybe I should take you to a speech therapist about this?

You have been pretty naughty at bedtime lately. Your routine is loooooong (pj's, potty, brush teeth, read a book, tickle your back, say a prayer, take a long drink, arrange your cover around you just right, and then when you finally tell me you're ready, you have me say "goodnight, sleep tight, don't let the bed bugs bite, sweet dreams!" and then blow you a kiss which I have to catch and then say 'got it!). Phew! It wears me out! Sometimes I hide in Moses' room pretending that he's still nursing, even if he's just asleep in my arms) just so that your dad will put you to bed. Shhhh...... don't tell! Ha! I do love to have one-on-one time with you though and know it's really important to you. Your bedtime routine is our time together. If I ever have to be gone at bedtime, you cry and cry for me. A few nights ago, you made daddy call me and you sobbed, "I need my mommy!" on the phone. It was sad and sweet. I'm glad you like me.

Aside from Moses, who will eat anything, you are my best eater. You'll try most things and aren't too picky. Sometimes when you are picky, I can tell it's only because you're copying your older brothers' pickiness. Your favorite foods are pasta, bananas, apple juice, hot chocolate, cheese, and ice cream.  You seem to eat and eat and eat all day long. You have the sturdiest little legs and the strongest looking body. I love it. I love the sprinkling of freckles across your nose, your red hair, and your tiny little features. You are a beautiful little boy.

Isaac, thanks for being my buddy. Even though life with you has been difficult lately, I love you to pieces. I feel lucky to be entrusted with the responsibility of raising you and teaching you. I can't wait for my future with you and to see what you become.

Love forever and ever,
Mama

3 1/2 Year Stats:
Height: 40 inches (65th percentile)
Weight: 36.6 lbs (80th percentile)

Moses: 8 Months Old

Dear Moses,

This past month with you has been kind of a rough one. You haven't been yourself for three weeks now and it's been totally exhausting. It started with a double ear infection and RSV. We put you on antibiotics which helped your ears but really upset your tummy. It gave you constant diarrhea for almost two weeks straight and made your tummy upset. You had NO appetite and threw up occasionally. It's hard to say, exactly, but I think you were feeling nauseated, you poor baby. Pop Pop finally told us to stop the antibiotics after 8 days but it still took another half week for the diarrhea to stop and your appetite to return. Note to self: Moses doesn't tolerate antibiotics well. I feel terrible that they made you so sick, but at least your ears are healing.

While you were sick the past few weeks, you hardly nursed at all. Probably because swallowing made your ears hurt and your tummy was nauseated. I had to pump around the clock to keep up my milk supply. I probably pumped like 5 times a day, which was a total labor of love, but I didn't want this sickness to cause the end of nursing. The good news is that I was able to donate 200 ounces of milk to babies in need, so that made me feel happy. You take a bottle occasionally, but there's no way you ever would have drunk that much, so I figured I should donate it instead.

While you were sick, you got in really bad sleeping habits because you were feeling so rotten. You had previously been sleeping through the night, but are now back to getting up lots and lots every night. I'm talking like 3-6 times most nights. I'm exhausted! It's like you're a tiny newborn again. I let you cry it out for your naps yesterday to try to train you to self-soothe, but I don't think it worked because you still woke up a bunch last night. I tried to go in to comfort you without nursing you, but that pissed you off. You were twisting your body and throwing your head down towards my breast and trying to nurse through my shirt. Needless to say, I got the hint and nursed you anyway. Ha ha!

I'm getting a little concerned about how immobile you are. You still rarely roll over! Occasionally you'll roll from your back to your tummy in your crib but then can't figure out how to roll back to your back. I'll hear you screaming hysterically and when I go to check on you, you'll be pushing yourself up with your arms with a look of helpless desperation, like you don't know what to do! I have to go into your room and roll you over. It's pretty sad and funny! I don't know if I should call the doctor to ask him about this issue or if I should just wait for your nine month appointment.

You are getting more and more interactive with your brothers every day and I love it so much. I love watching them play with you and make you laugh. I love when they play peekaboo with you, tickle you, and snuggle with you. You adore them and I can't wait to watch your relationships develop even more through the years. I hope so much that you'll all be best friends through your childhoods and into adulthood.

During the last few months of eating solids, you've begun to have preferences. Dang it! You won't just eat anything we give you anymore! Your favorite foods these days are yogurt, strawberries, bananas, pasta, cheese, applesauce, and anything sweet, of course. You do the typical baby thing where one day you like a certain food and the next you won't get near it. I'm not worried about your eating at all though. You're doing great!

You have started to drool a lot again. I'm guessing that you're going to be getting more teeth any day, which I sincerely isn't the case. Your two tiny teeth are one of my favorite things in the whole world. I can't get enough of your little grin! You're also sucking on your lower lip a lot again. It rarely makes an appearance. You have incredibly long eyelashes. They're so incredible in fact, that I get comments on them from strangers all the time. You are one seriously handsome baby!

You don't try to hide the fact that I'm your very favorite person on the planet from anyone. You prefer for me to hold you, rock you, play with you, and put you to sleep. You love to put your chubby little hands in my hair, nuzzle your face into my shoulder, and give me lots of wet kisses. I love every minute that I get to spend with you! You're a dream! I can't wait to see what new things you learn this coming month.

Love to the moon and back,
Mama

8 month stats: 
Weight: 19.8 lbs (70th percentile) 
Height: 28 inches (62nd percentile) 
Head Circumference:  18.3 inches (95th percentile)