Good Riddance, January!

Today is the last day of January, and I couldn't be happier about it!  January has officially been the worst month ever.  I have never felt so pent up, stir crazy, bored, and anxious in all my life.  Whenever people would say how much they hated winter and the snow and the cold, I never really understood.  I've always thought it was kind of fun to snuggle up under a blanket and drink hot chocolate and watch the gentle snowflakes fall.  But now I get what they were talking about.  Ha!  It's not fun at all!  It's actually kind of miserable! This is the first time that I remember my mood being affected by the weather.


The month started out fine with a big snow storm.  I actually thought it was kind of fun.  We got 24 inches of snow in just 2 days.  It was crazy!

 Eli had a lot of fun playing in it.  It was half his height!

 We bundled the boys up and shoveled the driveway.

 They loved getting some fresh air.

And we discovered that Eli has grown a little since last winter.  Hey, where's the flood, Eli?!

But soon, my happy attitude about the "fun" weather started to disappear.  After the big snow storm, it got really, really, really cold and stayed that way for the next few weeks.  The low was like 2 degrees every night and the high during the day was like 15 degrees.  Because we were worried about the pipes freezing, we ran a trickle of water through our faucets every night.  This wicked cold spell lasted forever.  All the snow from the huge storm didn't melt because it was so cold.

Then, we had a rain storm roll in but because it was so cold, it created a giant sheet of ice over everything.  This ice storm turned the entire surface of Bountiful into an ice skating rink. Poor Adam actually slipped and fell on the ice while he was outside shoveling and gave himself whiplash.  I've been trying to give him neck massages every night to help with the soreness.

For some reason, all this snow and ice has been too much for our roof and we have had tons of water leaking into our car port making the ground a slick, icy mess.  I get scared I'm going to fall every time I have to carry Oliver in his car seat to the car. We can't even really examine the source of the problem because there is too much snow on the roof to see anything.

Then we had fog so thick that I couldn't even see the mountains.  It just added to the bleak, yucky feeling in my heart.  This is what it looked like while I was driving to the grocery store one afternoon.

This is the view I've been greeted with every morning from my kitchen window.  Ugh.

To top it all off, Adam has been suffering with pneumonia this month, so he has been coughing his guts out, running a fever off and on, and has been exhausted from not sleeping well.  I've been trying to take care of him plus take care of the boys in the evenings too after he gets home from work so he can relax.  Whew!

And it's been snowing for the past two days.  Again.  This is getting really old, universe!  February, please be kind to me!

Monday Thoughts

Right now, both of my children are sound asleep in their beds. It's rare for them to both take naps at the same time.  Whenever they do, I'm torn about how I should spend the time.  Should I rush around the house and get the chores done that are too hard to do while they're awake?  Should I start cooking dinner?  Should I scrub the toilet and the shower?  Or should I do something for myself like paint my fingernails?  Watch TV while drinking a diet coke?  Read a book?  Well, today I've decided to blog on my oft-forgotten, rarely-updated blog.

Man, life has been crazy lately.  I feel like I handled having two kids remarkably well for the first 6 months.  I was surprised by how easy it was to adjust to the new lifestyle.  But months 6-8 have been really difficult for me.  I think it has stemmed from the fact that I started trying to feed Oliver solids at 6 months, and it turns out that he's not doing so hot with eating.  Having to spoon feed two bad eaters at the same time, three times a day has been really stressful, especially when neither one of them is interested in eating.

Eli has been throwing up a lot lately.  9 times in the past month.  I feel more and more every day that there is something medically wrong with him that makes him not want to eat or drink, and I am desperate to find out what it is.  Eli's pediatric gastroenterologist has finally suggested that we do an endoscopy on him to try to find out if there is anything medically wrong with him.  He had an upper GI barium swallow back in July that came back normal, but apparently, an endoscopy is much better at diagnosing problems because they go all the way down to his stomach with a tiny camera and look at every square inch.

I am hoping and praying that if there is something wrong with him, it will be very apparent during the endoscopy and they will be able to fix it.  I know it's unrealistic to think that a little surgery is going to magically make him a great eater.  That's not what I want.  I just want to know what's wrong so we can help him.  I hate to think that he could be in pain for some reason every time he eats.

I love my boys more than anything, but I am feeling really discouraged lately.  I'm not sleeping well, I get headaches a lot, and I'm so busy with them that I rarely find the time to eat.  At the end of the day, I feel discouraged that I didn't get more done.  I'm trying by best, but I still feel like it's not good enough.  I want so much to be one of those perky moms that dresses cute, makes a delicious healthy meal every night, has a clean house, and has well-behaved children that sleep and eat when they're supposed to.  Hopefully I can be that woman when my kids are a little older and can do more for themselves.  But right now, it's just not realistic, and I have to be okay with that.

Oliver: 8 Months Old

Dear Oliver,

It's become apparent this month that I am your favorite person on the planet.  You prefer me to hold you over anyone else, including your dad.  I pretend to feel bad for him when you turn away from him and reach out for me instead, but I secretly love it.  Every time I hold you, you bury your head in my neck and nuzzle me.  A few weeks ago, I picked you up after I had been away from you for a few hours and you threw your arms around my neck and gave me such a tight squeeze, I literally gasped.  I couldn't believe such a tiny baby was capable of doing that!  It completely melted my heart.  I love that you're a mama's boy.

You learned your first word this month- mama!  You mutter it all the time, and I know you know what it means.  You're not just saying it randomly.  You'll look up at me with those heart-melting brown eyes and say ma-ma-ma-ma-ma.  You say it especially when you want to nurse.  Your brother's first word was da-da, so I'm happy that at least one of my boys said ma-ma.

Your first tooth broke through your gums about a week and a half ago, while we were in St. George for Christmas.  It's hard to tell how much discomfort it's been causing you because you aren't the complaining type, but I hope it hasn't been too rough.  It seems like it's taking forever for the whole tooth to come through.  So far it's just a tiny edge.

Dancing has become one of your favorite activities lately.  Whenever you hear a beat, or even when you're just excited about something, you rock your torse back and forth.  You don't smile while you do it, but instead have a look of serious concentration on your face.  It's hilarious!  It's one of your "party tricks."  We love having you do it in front of people because they always think it's so stinking cute.

I'm not going to lie.  I'm feeling very anxious about your eating.  I know you're still too young to determine whether you're a bad eater or not, but things aren't going very well.  For the most part, you don't want anything to do with baby food or table food.  If the stars align, we can sometimes get you to take 4 or 5 bites of pureed fruits and veggies or yogurt, but most of the time, you turn away with your mouth closed like you have no interest in it whatsoever.  You still have never eaten a whole jar of baby food in one sitting.  It usually takes you a few days to get through one.  Sometimes we can get you to suck on an arrowroot cookie or a graham cracker, but that's not very consistent either.  When we give you little pieces of our food that doesn't dissolve very easily, (like peas, cheese, or bread) you act like you don't know what to do with it.  It will sit on the middle of your tongue and you'll just cough.  You don't know how to move the food to the side of your mouth and chew on it with your gums.

After what we've been through with Eli, I am obviously very anxious for you to show interest in food and have a normal appetite.  I'm trying to not project any of my anxiety on you.  In front of you, I try to act like I don't care whether or not you eat.  If you refuse, I don't push it.  I just get you out of your high chair and try again later.  But the reality is that I'm freaking out.  I don't know how I'm going to deal with it if neither of my kids will eat.  The stress level is already so high because of all of Eli's issues that I don't know what I'm going to do if you won't eat either.  I told Adam that I might seriously just be done having kids. Period.

Lately, you haven't been super interested in nursing either.  The only time you will nurse is when you're super tired, right before a nap or bedtime.  When I try to feed you any other time, you can't focus on it.  You just want to look around the room and sit up.  I'm kind of concerned because your weight percentile has been dropping every month. I'm trying to give you plenty of opportunities to eat, but you don't really want to.  I guess it's out of my control and I'm working on "letting go."

All through your 8th month of life, we continued to wake up 2 or 3 times every night.  The most annoying thing about it is that I would try to feed you, but you never really wanted to eat.  I think you just got lonely and wanted some company or something.  But dude, I've been exhausted for 8 months now, and I'm getting really tired of it, so a few nights ago, your dad and I decided it was time to put our foot down and sleep train you once and for all.  We slept in the guest bedroom with earplugs and the fan running, so we couldn't hear you crying.  I know you woke up a few times in the night, but I'm honestly not sure how long it took you to soothe yourself back to sleep.  After two nights of that, you slept from 7:30 p.m. to 5:00 a.m. without waking up.  Yay!  It might be too soon to tell if it's really worked, but I have a feeling it has.  Hopefully we can all start getting more sleep around here.

You usually take a naps around 10:00 and 2:00.  You usually fall asleep while nursing, but sometimes you don't so I put you in your crib awake and you have to cry yourself to sleep.  Sometimes it takes up to an hour.  You have definitely been more stubborn about sleep training than your brother was.  The good news is that your naps have gotten a little longer this month and are usually about 45 minutes to an hour.

You are in no hurry to crawl (or move much at all for that matter).  You don't try to stand while holding onto something or pull yourself to standing.  In fact, you completely forgot how to roll over for the first half of the month, which was totally bizarre.  Whenever I would set you on your belly, you would kick and fuss and get really frustrated, but you wouldn't roll over.  I was kind of worried about your regression, but after a few weeks of doing that, you started rolling over again.  Strange.  You are a pretty chill baby.  I sit you down on the floor with a few toys and you just play quietly.  You're so low maintenance.

You continue to be a joy to our family.  Oh, how we love you!  I know I say this every month, but you are one of the sweetest babies I've ever known.  Everyone always comments on what a calm temperament you have and how cute you are.  When you smile, your whole face lights up and your eyes sparkle.  Being your mom is so much fun!

Lots and lots of love,
Mama

8 Month Stats: 
Weight: 20.6 lbs (60th percentile)
Height: 28 1/2 in (69th percentile)
Head Circumference: 17 3/4 inches (50th percentile)