Eli: 7 1/2 Years Old

Dear Eli,

You're a great kid. Life with you has been really enjoyable lately. The level of difficulty with each kid in our family ebbs and flows, and thankfully, you're in a pretty easy stage right now. You're not perfect, but for the most part, you're obedient, kind, and fun. You play well with your brothers, especially Moses. You talk to him in a baby voice that's kind of my favorite. You love to feed him, tickle him, and give him attention. You're such a great big brother to him. I know he'll always look up to you, so I hope you can always set a good example for him. You actually play well with all of your brothers. I love when you use your imaginations and play games that go on for hours together.

You're a dreamer and it's hard to get you to do anything at a normal pace. You're slooooowwww. Your head is in the clouds all the time and I have to really put pressure on you or things don't get done. I have to start asking you to get ready for school a full hour before you need to leave because it takes you that long to take a shower, get dressed, and eat breakfast. It's frustrating to me, but I think it's pretty normal for a kid your age to act like this.

Since aunt Michelle taught you that plugging your nose while you're eating makes it so you can't taste food very well, you've gotten better at trying new foods. You'll try almost anything as long as you can plug your nose the whole time. It's pretty funny, but hey, whatever works! I know I play a role in your eating problems because I'm not consistent enough with making you try new things or things you don't like very much. I need to double down on my efforts to help you. It's frustrating because you don't like the food at the school cafeteria very often (unless it's pizza or popcorn chicken), so I have to pack you a lunch every day. And you always want the exact same lunch- a pb&j, a string cheese, a gogurt, and some sort of treat.

You seem so big to me most of the time, but sometimes I'm reminded of what a little boy you still are. You still love stuffed animals. You like to bring them places with you, sleep with them, name them, throw birthday parties for them, make boats for them to travel through water in, and put them in all kinds of vehicles to zip them around the house. It's so cute. I hope you still little and innocent forever.

You hate homework. You throw a huge tantrum every day when I ask you to do it. You're supposed to read for 20 minutes a night, but in all reality, you probably only do it once a week because most nights, it's not worth having the fight with you. Your report cards this year have been a little worse than I'd like to see, and again, I feel like it's my fault because I'm not strict enough with you about your school work. Honestly, it's been a pretty crazy year with having Moses, selling the house on our own, moving twice, building the new house, and getting settled here, so forcing you to do school work has been the last thing I've wanted to do. But I am going to recommit myself to working with you. Doing well in school is really important to both me and your dad, and we want to teach you that you need to start forming good habits NOW.

Your dad has been reading Harry Potter to you and Oliver, and to say that you've loved it is an understatement. You're half-way through the fourth book, and surprisingly, you guys seem to totally understand the plot lines. You're major fans. All you Alba boys dressed up as characters from Harry Potter for Halloween and you were in your element. For weeks afterwards, you wore your iconic Harry Potter glasses (even to church!) and cast spells on everyone with your wands. It's been pretty funny. My guess is that you'll request a Harry Potter party for your eighth birthday.

One of your favorite things in the world is still to stay up late and snuggle. Even if we tell you that we can't snuggle that night, you'll still come out with a sheepish little grin on your face and beg to snuggle with us. I've found that you really open up to us emotionally while we're snuggling and we have our best conversations during that special time. I'm going to take advantage of that throughout your teenage years and try to get you to talk to me late at night. Hopefully it will work. I want so much to have a close relationship with you when you're older. I'll never have that close mother/daughter relationship that so many moms get to have with their girls, but I'm hoping that I can still have it with my sons.

You brushed my hair tonight really softly and it made me tear up thinking about how much you've grown since you were born. It's been such an honor to be your mom and to take care of you every day. I can't wait for school to get out for summer break so that I can spend more time with you. Sometimes I feel like I hardly see you, especially if you play with friends when you get home from school and then daddy puts you to bed while I nurse Moses to sleep.

Eli, you're a great kid. I can't wait for you to get baptized next summer. Thanks for being my little buddy and for leading my pack of boys!

Love,
Mama

7 1/2 Year Stats:
Weight: 58.8 lbs (69th percentile)
Height: 50 3/4 inches (79th percentile)

Moses: 7 Months Old

Dear Moses,

You are 7 months old today! I know I always say this, but you're at one of my very favorite baby ages. You're sweet as can be, you're not mobile yet, and you're sleeping a lot better. It doesn't get better than this. I honestly have a hard time getting things done because all I ever want to do is hold you, play with you, snuggle you, and squeeze your thighs, cheeks, and belly. I kiss those big old cheeks all day long. I'm pretty crazy about you!

One of the big developments of the month is that you started sitting up like a big boy! While we were in St. George for Thanksgiving, your dad randomly tried it and you sat there all by yourself with no support for a good minute or so. I was so shocked! I had no idea that you could do that! You're still a little wobbly and fall over sometimes, so I don't feel totally comfortable leaving your side while you do it, but you're getting more stable every day. Just like in this picture, you always look so proud of yourself while you're sitting.

Another milestone of the month is that you have sprouted two tiny razor sharp teeth! One is about a quarter of the way through and the other is just a tiny, barely recognizable sliver, but it has definitely started coming through your gums. One day about two weeks ago, I was laying on my bed, playing with you, when I had the thought, "I wonder when Mo is going to get teeth." I casually ran my finger across your gums, not expecting to find anything, but I was surprised to find a sharp little corner of a tooth poking up through your teeny little gums. I was floored and totally taken off-guard. I immediately burst into tears. I'm talking choking sobs. I couldn't stop crying. I was so devastated. Your dad happened to walk into the room right then and was really concerned when he saw me sobbing. When I told him, he laughed. Men don't understand how we women feel so upset about these things! But come on! It's my last baby's first tooth!!! It's so devastating, but I have to admit, so adorable too.

You are a great eater and have seriously loved every single food we've ever offered you. You open your mouth enthusiastically every time food approaches your vicinity. You love fruit and veggie baby foods, tiny pieces of actual fruits and veggies, pasta, cheese, cereal, bread, yogurt, rice, beans, and any kind of sweet (obviously). It's funny how it seemed like you went from being fine with exclusively nursing to needing three full meals a day plus snacks. You make it known when you're hungry, which is all the time!

You're eating so much, however, that your breast milk intake has gone way down, which I'm a little concerned about. Almost every time I try to nurse you, you act disinterested, probably because big boy food is much cooler than your mom. I feel a little rejected. 😭 I've been pumping to keep my supply up in case you decide to act interested again. Nursing my babies is probably my favorite thing in the entire world, and I'm worried that you're going to wean yourself. I would be totally and completely devastated if I couldn't nurse you as long as I nursed your brothers.

You have been sleeping through the night for the past week and a half, but I've been too nervous to say that you're actually "sleeping through the night" because it might just be a phase. Who knows? Either way, I've been enjoying the full night's sleep that I've been getting. It's been amazing! I usually put you down for the night around 7:00 or 7:30 p.m. and you sleep until about 6:45 a.m. You're back to taking three naps a day, usually one at 8:45 a.m., one at noon, and one at about 3:30 p.m. Since you haven't been nursing much lately, you're not falling asleep nursing, which means that I've just been laying you in your crib and you've been putting yourself to sleep. I think this is the reason that you've started sleeping through the night. You now know how to self-sooth and don't need me to nurse you to sleep!

You're still sucking on your lower lip nonstop. It is hilarious! It's always bruised and blistered. We always tell you that it's a cute lip and that you should show it off, but you don't listen! There's not much I can do about it!

Moses, you are delightful. You're full of smiles and love to laugh too. You're chill and sweet as can be. I adore you with every fiber of my being and feel unworthy to be your mom! Thanks for choosing me!

Love you forever and ever and ever,

7 Month Stats:
Height: 27 3/4 in (76th percentile)
Weight: 19.6 lbs (79th percentile)
Head Circumference: 18 in (93rd percentile)

Moses: 6 Months Old

Dear Moses,

Welp, I started the day off with a good cry because today you're halfway to your first birthday. Time is going by so fast that it scares me. I've been feeling super guilty lately because life has been so busy that I haven't been spending as much quality time with you as I'd like. We moved into our new house over the weekend and I feel like I've had to put you in your jumparoo or bumbo more than I'd like.  The only time I've really been holding you lately is when I'm nursing you or when you're fussy and I feel really badly about it. I really do want to soak up every minute with you but having three other kids to take care of and moving has really overwhelmed me lately. Thankfully, you've been an angel baby through it all and have taken it all in stride. Thanks for being so easygoing and sweet.

One big milestone this month is that we started feeding you solid foods. My mom wanted me to wait until we took you down to St. George for Thanksgiving, but my mommy instinct told me that you were ready and that it would be rude to make you wait any longer. And boy, was I right! You've literally loved every single food we've given you and have eaten with gusto. It makes me so happy! You love pureed fruits and veggies, yogurt, cheese, baby puffs, pizza, hot dogs, and of course, chocolate. I have probably given you foods I shouldn't have, but you're just so dang cute with it all that I can't help myself. I love watching you eat!

This month, you've decided that your bottom lip is a built-in binkie and you suck on it nonstop.  I'm not even joking, you've sucked a giant blister onto it and have a big purple bruise right in the center. The only time it makes an appearance is if you're laughing or eating any solid foods. The other day, I went to nurse you and you tried to latch on while your bottom lip was sucked in. When I pulled it out so that you could get a proper latch, you screamed at me in anger and started crying! You crazy little boy! You've got to stop or you're not going to have any lip left!!! I don't know what to do about it. I'm sure it's just a phase and hopefully you'll outgrow it soon.

You're still taking 3 naps most days and your sleep schedule at night is the exact same every night, without fail. You go to bed at about 7:00 p.m., and you wake up at 11:30 p.m., 3:30 a.m., and 7:00 a.m. for the day. The 11:30 feeding is the hardest one because I never know if I should wait up for it or try to go to sleep before then. If I go to sleep, it's really hard to wake up after I've only been asleep for an hour or so. The 3:30 a.m. feeding is hard too, but not as hard as that first one. I really need to make you cry it out, but things have been too crazy for me to even make the effort to go through sleep training. We just moved into our new house three days ago and I've done nothing but unpack boxes, get beds set up, do laundry, and try to get a little bit organized before we go to St. George for Thanksgiving tomorrow.

Almost overnight, you stopped drooling buckets and buckets of drool onto your shirts. Last month, I had to put a bib on you and change it multiple times a day, but now, you're only drooling a little here and there. It's made me life easier but I also kind of miss the drool, or "sugar water" as I like to call it.

I'm so tired. Four kids has been a huge adjustment for me, especially with all the changes that our family has gone through this year. I am just so, so busy. I don't really know how to describe the demands on me other than to say that I never get a break. Thank goodness for nursing, because the only time I ever get to sit down is when I feed you. Sometimes I let you sleep on my breast because I'm so desperate for a little more down time. I know I'm supposed to lay you in your crib when you're still awake, but I need that connection with you. Sometimes our time together while you nurse is the only time I get to hold you because when you're awake, I usually have to stick you in your bouncer or jumparoo because I have so much going on.

Moses, I mean it when I say that you're the light of my life. You make me so happy. Every single time I look at you, you give me a huge grin. Your eyes twinkle, your cheeks get big, and you smile with your whole body. You're an amazing little boy and I truly feel so lucky that I get to spend my days with you. If I'm ever feeling down, just snuggling your little body next to mine and I immediately feel better.

Lots of Love,
Mama

6 Month Stats:
Height: 27.5 inches (80th percentile)
Weight: 18 lbs, 9 oz (70th percentile)
Head Circumference: 18 inches (93rd percentile)

Oliver: 5 1/2 Years Old

Dear Oliver,

Time is flying with you, my friend! I can't believe that you've been a kindergartner for months and that you're learning so much. You love going to school and according to your teacher, you're doing very well. You had a little bit of a rough start this year because you didn't know a single person at your new school. We started you at the elementary school where our new house would be even though we weren't living there yet because I didn't want to have to switch you halfway through the year once we moved into our house. You were nervous about not knowing anyone but felt a little better after hearing about the "buddy bench" on the playground. All you had to do was go sit on the bench and someone that noticed you sitting there alone would come up and invite you to play with them.

There was a hiccup however, when the bench didn't get installed in time for the first day of school. You went out to recess expecting to sit on it and have some instant friends, but ended up not having anywhere to go or anyone to play with. When I picked you up after school, you had big tears in your eyes and told me that you were all alone at recess. I was heartbroken for you because you're such a sweet, likable kid and I knew that if kids would give you a chance, they would love you! After a few days of listening to you sob after school about how lonely you felt, I emailed your teacher and asked if she would pair you up with a buddy or two at recess. I also reached out to a few moms in our new ward who I knew had kids your age. They were so kind and offered to meet up with us so that we could introduce their kids to you. They also scheduled a play date for the moms and kids so that we could all get to know each other. That meant so much to me and to you. You had a few little friends in no time and it's been smooth sailing ever since! You're such a likable guy!

You have such a kind soul. Out of all my children, you're the most considerate of others. You frequently try to make people feel better when they're sad and give genuine compliments. Most of the time, you're pretty grateful too, which is so nice. You thank me for taking you fun places, buying you fast food, and letting you watch shows. I've been trying to drill gratitude into your head for years and I feel like it's finally sinking!

Your love for TV and computer games is still out of control. You beg me all day long to let you be on screens. The problem is that there are so many hours to fill between the time you wake up to the time you go to afternoon kindergarten that you get bored, especially with your best buddy Eli gone. Screens are your go-to, all-time favorite activity. Your current favorite shows are Ninjago and Angry Birds, both of which I find mind-numbing, but you love them, so what can I do about it?

You've become a very picky eater the past few months. One day you'll claim to like a certain food that I make and the next time I make it, you'll refuse to eat it. It's so frustrating, especially when I can't seem to find a food that you'll eat! A lot of meals, I end up making a bunch of different options and it's exhausting. I am trying to be strict with you and not let you do this, but sometimes I get desperate and will do anything so you'll eat something!

You're a happy kid except when you're not. That's the only way I know how to describe it, really. There's not a lot of gray with you. Your moods are very black and white. You're either smiling, laughing, full of energy, and hopping up and down or you're whining, yelling, and emotional. I'm afraid for what's going to happen when you're a teenager and hormones are thrown into the mix! Ha!

Oliver, I love you so much. I would do anything for you. You're my little buddy and I'm soaking up having you home in the mornings during this school year because I know I'm going to be seeing a lot less of you soon and it makes me sad. Thanks for being such a great kid. I can't wait to see what life has in store for you! I have a feeling you're going to do some pretty amazing things.

Love forever and ever,
Mama

5 1/2 Year Stats:
Height: 45.5 inches (65th percentile)
Weight: 43.2 lbs (38th percentile)

Moses: 5 Months Old

Dear Moses,

How in the heck did I get lucky enough to be your mom?! Sometimes I still can't believe that I get to spend my days holding you, playing with you, rocking you, nursing you, and putting you to sleep. I truly have the best job in the world. I honestly don't mind that you're not sleeping through the night yet. I just feel lucky that I have an adorable baby to wake up for.

The biggest development of the month is that you've started to get bored just sitting around and want to play with toys to entertain you. You get frustrated with them easily however. Your hands don't quite work the way you want them to yet, so you're constantly dropping things, which always makes you cry with frustration. While I was holding you today, you were pulling on the necklace I was wearing. All of a sudden, you got hysterical out of nowhere. I couldn't figure out what was wrong until I realized that you were crying because my necklace wasn't coming off my neck. You were trying to pull it off so you could suck on it, but it wasn't working and you couldn't figure out why! It was so funny.

Your dad and I are a little bit worried about how flat the back of your head is getting. I remember all of your brothers having flat heads too, but I can't remember if theirs were as flat as yours. I've been really trying to keep you off of the back of your head by holding you, laying you on your tummy, or sitting you upright in your jumparoo or your bumbo chair, but I can't help it that you're putting pressure of the back of your head while you're sleeping or in your car seat. I am going to talk to your pediatrician about it at your appointment next month and see what he thinks.

A few weeks ago, you faked us out by sleeping through the night for three nights in a row, but now you're back to getting up around 11 pm, 3 am, and 7 am. You still can't stay awake for longer than about 1.5-2 hours at a time, which means you're taking 3-4 naps a day, depending on how long they are. You were taking really short little cat naps until I realized a few days ago that you need to go down for your first nap sooner. If I put you down about 45 minutes to an hour after you wake up for the day, you'll sleep longer and the whole day goes better. If I mess up that first nap by keeping you up for too long, you end up sleepy crappy for the rest of the day because you're overtired. I haven't been able to go to the gym lately because it messes with your sleep too much. I'm bummed about this because I really like to work out, but getting you good sleep is a bigger priority to me.

You still pretty much require me to nurse you to sleep for every nap and at bedtime with the exception of your morning nap. I'm usually able to lay you down awake for that one and you'll fall asleep on your own, but you need my boob in your mouth to fall asleep for the rest of them. For the most part, I don't mind this too much, but it does feel pretty restrictive when I want to go out in the evening for a date with your dad or dinner with girlfriends (heaven forbid!). You usually spend the whole time I'm gone struggling at home with the babysitter and I feel anxious the whole time I should be out enjoying myself because I know you're home being a little pill. I don't really know how to remedy this situation, but it's a bit troublesome.

You've started to show a lot of interest in food. Every time you're sitting on my lap while I eat, you your eyes follow my food all the way to my mouth. You also grab for it constantly. As much as I know you want to try food, I'm not quite ready for it yet. My life is a lot harder when I have to both nurse and feed a baby, so I'm putting it off as long as I can. I want to wait until you're 6 months before we go down that road!

You are capable of rolling from your belly to your back but don't do it very often. Most of the time, you're pretty content just being a fat blob that sits there drooling and smiling. Just the way I like you! I love this baby stage so much where you can't get around much but just like to chill. You love to put everything you can possibly get your hands on into your mouth. You drool more than any of my other babies. You can soak through a shirt within 15 minutes of having it on. I usually try to put a bib on you so that your shirt isn't always wet and I usually have to change those 3 or 4 times a day. It's so yucky!

It's been so much fun living at the Alba's house while our house is wrapping up. We should be moved in within the next 3 weeks or so. I can't wait to start our life there! We are going to make so many amazing memories! Grandma Janie and Guelito can't get enough of you. They're constantly holding you, kissing you, and playing with you. You bring everyone so much joy!

Lots of Love,
Mama

5 Month Stats 
Height: 26 inches (58th percentile) 
Weight: 17.6 lbs (79th percentile) 
Head Circumference: 17.6 in (97th percentile)

Moses: 4 Months Old

Dear Moses,

I don't know how it's even possible for you to get cuter, but you somehow manage it every month. You're the happiest, most cheerful little guy around. I'm not kidding, every single time you make eye contact with someone, you smile. You don't just smile with your mouth but your whole body. You smile so big that your eyes disappear and you wiggle your whole body. I can't get enough! My favorite thing to do with you is to just get you to smile!

You are getting chubbier and chubbier with each passing day. I love squeezing your squishy thighs. I love your knuckle dimples and your little rubber band wrists. You're too cute!!! You're still kind of a fat little blog and don't move around much yet. You have rolled from your belly to your back a few dozen times, but it almost seems like it's an accident when it happens, not purposeful. I love that you're not mobile yet and you stay wherever I set you. I don't have to worry about you rolling off the bed yet. I lay you on our bed for the majority of your naps.

We're living with Grandma Janie and Guelito right now while our new house is being built. It has been so fun to watch them love on you and interact with you all the time. They're pretty smitten! Everyone is always gathered around you, fighting over who gets to hold you next. Your big brothers have been really into holding you lately, and Eli has even been asking to carry you around the house. I'm always supervising when he does it because it makes me nervous, but I can tell he feels so big and strong when I let him, so I try to let him do it whenever he wants.

You're finally starting to figure out that you have hands and that they can grab things. It's so funny because I'll frequently find you holding your hand in front of your face, staring at it in wonder and amazement. You're reaching for things now and are sometimes able to curl your fingers around them. We started putting you in the jumparoo a few days ago, and boy, do you love it! You've figured out that you can jump and play with the toys a little. It's a great place to put you for a bit while I get something done. You're always really happy in there.

You have been waking up in the night a lot lately, usually three times. Once at around 12:30, once at 3:30, and once at 6:30. I seriously can't keep doing this for much longer. I feel like I'm going crazy! It's so hard for me to not get a longer stretch of sleep. I talked to your pediatrician about what to do and he says to let you cry in the night. You don't need to be eating that often. I know I need to do it, but the thought of making you scream makes me so sad. I don't want you to feel abandoned and hopeless! Ugh, we'll see if I can muster up the courage to do it.

The amounts of drool that come from your mouth every day are incredible. You can soak through a shirt within a half hour of me putting it on you. I've started having you wear a bib at all times because that's the only way I don't have to change your outfit a dozen times a day. You always seem to have a long string of drool coming from those beautiful lips of yours that I can't stop kissing.

I feel so grateful to have another healthy baby boy. Since you're our last, I'm trying my hardest to soak up every minute with you because I know how fleeting it really is. I feel really emotional about you getting older and growing bigger with each passing day. I can't believe how blessed I am to have you in my life. You bring sunshine into the life of everyone that sees you and knows you. Thank you for filling me with so much happiness and for being an example of joy.

I'll love you forever and ever,
Mama

4 Month Stats
Height: 25 inches (51st percentile)
Weight: 16.4 lbs (64th percentile)
Head Circumference: 17.4 in (98th percentile)

Moses: 3 Months Old

Dear Moses,

You are so much fun! You're really interacting with us and smiling nonstop. Unless you're hungry or sleepy, you're smiling. I love that about you. You are talking a ton and are always yelling at us in a very serious but happy way. I figure that with three older brothers, you have to yell to be heard. I have a feeling that you're going to be forced to have a big personality if you want to get any attention at all in this family!

You've discovered your hands this month and are sucking on them nonstop. Every time I look over at you, you've got them in your mouth and are making loud, sucking sounds. Sometimes I wonder if you think you're going to get milk out of them if you suck hard enough. It's hilarious. I better keep them extra clean since they're in your mouth nonstop!

You've been a terrible nurser the past few weeks. You rarely act hungry or interested in eating. When I feed you, you usually only stay at my breast for a minute or two and then you pull off to look at something else. I seriously wonder how you're even getting the calories you need to grow! If I can force you to stay on my boob long enough, you'll get into a rhythm and eat well, but it's hard for you to get to that point.

You've become quite the drool monster this month. The front of your shirt is constantly covered in thick, slimy baby drool. I either have to put a bib on you, which gets in your face and annoys you, or I have to change your shirt like 3x a day. It's kind of adorable and gross at the same time. Speaking of gross, you are by far my stinkiest child. You catch a lot of milk and drool in your neck creases but starts to rot and stink. I feel like you almost always have a nasty odor around your neck area. I wipe it out frequently, but it seems like no matter what I do, it still stinks. Sometimes it gets raw deep inside your creases and even bleeds a little. It's so sad! I don't know what to do about it!

You were sleeping better at night at the beginning on the month (only waking up once a night), but now you're back to getting up twice (or some nights even three times!). The funny thing is that when you wake up, you don't even nurse very well anyway, so it feels kind of pointless to me to be waking up with you all the time. My goal this month is to slowly wean you off of the night feedings. We'll see how it goes. I'll start by nursing you, but only for a few minutes. Then I'll move to just picking you up and rocking you. Then I'll go in to let you know I'm there, but I won't pick you up. Hopefully you'll learn to self-sooth and just go back to sleep on your own.

I'm very happy to report that you've been napping pretty well this month. In the morning, I don't even have to nurse you down. I can just swaddle you and lay you in your crib and you'll go right to sleep. As the day goes on, you get a little harder to put down, but it's still not too bad. I usually nurse you a little to get you sleepy and then I try to lay you in your crib before you're totally asleep. I rarely have to put you in your swing anymore to get you to take a good nap.

Your name is finally growing on me. It took me awhile to get over all of the weird looks and comments I got when I told people your name, but now I love it and think it's totally rad. Unique but not made up. Uncommon but not unpronouncable. It think it fits you really well. Your daddy is beyond thrilled that I finally agreed to use the name and I'm happy that he's happy because I kind of like him. ;)

Moses, you're an amazing little boy and I couldn't be happier that you're a part of our family. It still struggle with the fact that you're almost definitely our last baby, but if you really are, you're a great kid to end on. You're amazing! I love you so much!

Love forever and ever,
Mama

Weight: 14.4 lbs (42nd percentile)
Height: 24 in (58th percentile)

Isaac: 3 Years Old

Dear Isaac,

You are three today! You are the happiest child I've ever met. You're constantly smiling, giving out compliments, and showering us with affection. You tell me at least a dozen times every day that I'm a nice mommy and that I'm pretty. What girl doesn't like to hear that constantly?! I can't help but smile when I'm around you.

You talk NONSTOP from sun up to sun down. It's exhausting but I can't be mad about it because it's so adorable. Instead of getting crabby when you're tired, you get even more hyper and talkative than usual. It takes you a reallllllllly long time to finally wind down enough at bedtime to fall asleep. You keep your brothers awake for up to an hour or an hour and a half past the time they want to be falling asleep every night. You talk nonstop until they can't take it anymore and start yelling at you. You come out of your room over and over with various excuses. Some nights it gets so intolerable that we finally have to put you in timeout or have you fall asleep in our bed so that you're all alone.

You love to act silly and are a big clown. You giggle nonstop, even when things aren't funny. You love to climb on people, talk about potty humor, and snuggle. You're very affectionate. You're tough too, and can take a serious beating from your older brothers without batting an eye. You giggle through just about everything. You're such a good example to me of what it means to have a good attitude!

I've heard that redheads have a particularly low pain tolerance, and boy, is that true with you! You hurt yourself so many times a day that it's comical. One day I decided to keep track but lost count by the end of the day because it was getting out of control. Your most commonly uttered phrase is, "I hurted myself! Tiss it!" I'm not exaggerating, you probably hurt yourself two or three dozen times a day.

You adore your big brothers and refer to them as either "the guys" or "the brothers." You play right alongside them and don't let being younger hold you back. In fact, sometimes you play with your brother's friends better than they do. You love Moses too and love to kiss him and squeeze him (usually a little too hard). You drag your stool from the bathroom into Mo's room when he's on his changing table so that you can climb up and get a better look at him. When he's nursing, you like to stand behind the rocking chair and stroke his hair while he eats. You're such a good brother to him. Your nickname for him is "Moey."

You've been potty trained for a few months and are doing great! You never have accidents and can even make it through the night and wake up dry. We never put a diaper on you anymore at night. Your favorite foods are strawberries, cheese, and apple juice. I can usually get you to try just about anything.

I love (almost) every minute I get to spend with you, minus the constant talking in your loud, monotone goose honk, climbing all over me, and cackling loudly at inappropriate times. ;) Just kidding, I love being with you no matter what. You're just kind of exhausting. I wouldn't have you any other way. You're a delightful little boy that lights up my life. Thanks for being you.

Love to the moon and back,
Mama

3 Year Stats:
Height: 38 in (60th percentile)
Weight: 34 lbs (73rd percentile)

Moses: 2 Months Old

Dear Moses,

You have been a part of our family for 2 months now and we couldn't be happier about it. We're all obsessed with you! We kiss you, squeeze you, and tickle you hundreds of times a day. We can't help ourselves. You are just so dang cute! You got a pretty bad case of acne shortly after you turned one month old and it's been slowly clearing up ever since. It's almost all gone now and your soft little cheeks are almost back to how they should be. You've had a little flaking on your scalp, but it hasn't been too bad.

A big milestone of the month was that your dad gave you your name and blessing at church. We had a big celebration along with your cousin Vienna, who was blessed the same day you were. We had lots of people from both families over at our house and we had a big spread of sandwich platters from Costco, fruit salad, potato salad, pasta salad, chips, and all kinds of desserts. You slept through the majority of the party, but were an angel during your blessing. You dad gave you all kinds of beautiful blessings and the room was full of the spirit. I felt such a strong connection to you that day and was so full of hope for your future. I know you're going to grow up to be an amazing person.

You've gotten really smiley and animated the past week or so. You've even started to coo in response when we talk to you. You have lots to say to us! I love when you look into my eyes and talk to me. I wonder what you're trying to communicate. You are at such a fun age and I love seeing your personality emerge. I live for the times when you focus on me, smile, and talk. It's the best thing ever.

We still have bad nights with you sometimes where it takes us hours and hours to get you to go to sleep, but they are getting more rare, which we're really thankful for. You're also going down for your naps more easily during the day which is helping me feel more sane. You still wake up every three hours in the night, like clockwork, so I'm pretty exhausted all the time. Unless I can sleep in a little in the morning, until like 7:30 or 8:00, I feel awful during the day. With four kids to take care of, I never get to take a nap during the day, so unless I can get the sleep I need at night, I'm in trouble. Your dad has been great about going in to work later lately so I can get a little more sleep.

You love your big brothers and put up with them even when they're a little too rough (which is basically all the time). They love getting up in your face, just inches away from you, to talk to you, kiss you, and show their toys to you. They frequently pull on your limbs and squeeze you too hard which really bugs me, but I don't want to constantly be discouraging their affection for you so I try to not say much. Fingers crossed that you can survive these next 15 years with them around!

Moses, you are a ray of sunshine in my life. I'm so thrilled with your presence in our home. You have such a sweet spirit. Thank you for choosing our family.

Lots and lots of love,
Mama

2 Month Stats:
Height: 23 13/4 inches (75th percentile)
Weight: 13.4 lbs (64th percentile)
Head Circumference 16.3 in (94th percentile)

Eli: 7 Years Old

Dear Eli,

My, dear, sweet firstborn.... I can hardly believe you're 7 years old today! I tear up every time I think about the moment you came into this world and made me a mom. It was a sacred, surreal moment that is right towards the top of my "favorite moments in life" list. I will never forget it.

You are an extremely persistent little boy. When you want something, you will not drop it until it happens. This can be both a strength and a weakness. Your dad and I always laugh about how we pray that you'll use this character trait for good in the future! I'm not going to lie.... I've had a pretty hard summer with you so far. You're my whiniest child and you always want me to be entertaining you, which has been hard with a new baby in the family and trying to get our house ready to put on the market. You love watching TV and playing computer games. You beg from them all day and throw tantrums when I try to limit them. Hopefully you'll calm down a little or this is going to be a looooooong summer!

You are bright, curious, and fun. You love to be silly and laugh. You're very social and love to have friends over, play outside, and go new places. You are creative and have a great imagination. I love seeing what you can create. Your favorite thing in the whole world is "snuggling." Every night before bed, you beg to snuggle as a family on the rug in your bedroom. You frequently come out of your room after we've put you in bed and beg to snuggle with us in our bed. It's frustrating, but snuggle time is when we have the best talks with you, so we can't complain too much. It clearly means a lot to you to have our undivided attention coupled with physical touch.

You hate when there is tension and are very sensitive when we're not happy with you. It makes disciplining you quite difficult because there's a fine line between letting you get away with bad behavior and coming down too hard on you. You usually act mad at me for hours whenever I scold you about something, like I'm the one that did something wrong. You love to tell me what a mean mom I am. It hurts my feelings but I know you're just taking your frustration out on me.

You're a great big brother and "leader of the pack." All of your little brothers worship you and will do anything you tell them. I've heard from various people that you're a little shy at school and don't like talking to adults. Your dad and I were both a little like this when we were young, so I'm not surprised. Hopefully you'll gain more confidence in yourself over the years and grow up to be outgoing and brave.

You're still a very picky eater. You're extremely resistant to trying new foods. When we force you to, you act like we're trying to kill you, even if it's a totally safe, normal food like rice or beans. Your favorite foods are pretty much any bread product or sweet. You'll do anything to get chips, candy, cookies, or ice cream. The fruits I can manage to get you to eat are grapes, apples, and strawberries, and the only vegetable you'll eat is raw carrots. It's better than nothing, but I still need to work with you a lot!

Eli, I love you with every fiber of my being and love having you in our family! You are a wonderful little boy with a sensitive spirit. You ask serious and inquisitive questions,  I worry that I'm not doing a good job with you and am not mothering you in the right ways. Hopefully I don't screw you up too much!

I love you,
Mama

Height: 49.5 in (76th percentile)
Weight: 58.6 lbs (79th percentile)

Moses: 1 Month Old

Dear Moses,

It's been a whole month since you joined us on this earth! This month has dragged and flown by at the same time. Is that possible? For your first three weeks of life, you were chill as a cucumber. You slept anywhere and everywhere, hardly ever fussed or cried, and were a little dream boat. But as soon as you turned three weeks old, you "woke up" and things have been really hard since. You sleep pretty well at night, but getting you to take a nap during the day is near impossible. Most days, I feel like I spend the entire day getting you to sleep. I nurse you, rock you, bounce you, wear you, sing to you, and do everything I can think of to get you to nap, but it rarely works. The second I lay you down, you wake up crying. I feel like I've tried everything but none of it works!

It's crazy to me how short the period is between you waking up from a nap and you wanting to go back to sleep. You can usually only last 45 minutes before you're clamping your eyes shut and crying, your classic sign for needing another nap. By the time I get you up, nurse you, and change your diaper, you usually only have about 15-20 minutes of play time before you want to sleep again.

You have given us a few little smiles, and let me tell you, they have completely melted my heart. I'm constantly in your face, trying to get you to smile. I have to work pretty hard for them, but when I'm successful, it's the greatest thing ever. I can't wait for you to give them to me more regularly. I could be totally off, but I get the feeling you're going to be a serious little guy. You always have a look of deep concentration on your face. I know for a fact you're going to be really smart. You're unusually alert and aware of everything going on around you for a baby your age.

I'm happy to report that you take a bottle! We gave you your first when you were five days old and we've given you one nearly every day since. I try to pump a bottle of milk every day for you to drink and your daddy loves to give it to you every night. Your big brothers are also fans of feeding you a bottle. They all want a turn, so I pass you around and you lay on each of their laps and even drink it from them. You're not picky, as long as it's mama's milk. You'll take it any way you can get it!

When you vocalize, you sound like a kitty. You make these adorable little yelps and meows. They seriously could not be any cuter. Your brothers think they're hilarious and laugh their heads off whenever you make these sounds. One of my very favorite things you do is your big stretches when you wake up and I take you out of your swaddle. Just like all of your brothers did, you tip your head back, push your lips out, bring your tiny arms up and stretch with all of your might. It's hilarious. I keep trying to capture a video of it, but every time I pull my phone out to record, you're already done.

I'm always so proud to show you off to everyone. I think you're such a handsome baby. I can't believe that you gained 3.5 lbs in less than a month. You went from being 7 lbs even when we left the hospital to 10.6 lbs today! That makes me so happy! It makes all of those middle of the night feeding sessions seem worth it.

Moses, I am completely smitten by you. I have loved all of the snuggle time I've had with you this month. My mom was kind enough to stay with us for 16 days after you were born and I had lots of undivided time with you while she was here because she was taking care of your brothers. I can't count how many little naps you have taken on my chest where I got to drink in the scent of your fluffy hair and feel the weight of your tiny chest on my body. Mmmmm. It's been heaven. I know the days are numbered where you do that, so I'm soaking up every moment I have with you, especially since you're probably my last baby.

I can't wait for the future with you! I can't wait to get to know your little personality more and fall even more in love with you. Thank you for coming into our family and bringing us so much joy!

I'll love you forever,
Mama

1 Month Stats
Height: 21.5 inches (70th percentile)
Weight: 10.6 lbs (82nd percentile)

38 Weeks Pregnant

Only two more weeks until my due date! I am feeling totally prepared. We moved Isaac into the big boys' room with no problems, so now the nursery is ready for baby boy. I filled the dresser drawers with his tiny clothes, bought a few boxes of newborn diapers, set up his new swing, and packed my hospital bag and the diaper bag. Isaac is potty trained and doing awesome, so now I'll only have one kid in diapers (thank goodness!).

Physically, I'm feeling great. It's kind of crazy to me how good I'm feeling this late in my pregnancy. I honestly still forget I'm pregnant sometimes. My feet ache by the end of the day and my fingers are a little swollen, but other than that, I can't really complain about anything. This has never happened in any of my pregnancies before, but I've hardly gained any weight the past few weeks. I usually gain right up until the end. I just haven't had much of an appetite lately for some reason. I've managed to make it through 4 pregnancies without getting any stretch marks, so it would be straight up unfair to get them during these last few weeks!

I've been getting pretty bad heartburn at night lately, way more than I remember getting with my other boys. Chewing a few Tums usually helps, but sometimes it's bad enough that I don't even enjoy food because it burns to eat and the food tastes gross. Maybe my dream of having a baby that comes out with a head full of thick, black hair will finally come true this time!

I'm starting to feel nervous about the labor and delivery. I hope it goes smoothly and that I have a really special experience, especially since this is the last time I get to do it. Sob! I love giving birth. I'm afraid that I'm going to be an emotional mess during the whole birth and during my stay at the hospital. I don't think I've accepted yet that this is my last baby. I'm definitely not okay with it. I keep praying that Heavenly Father will help me feel closure and peace if this really is our last baby. I want to feel good about it.

My doctor is out of town this week, so I'm praying I don't go into labor before he gets back. At my appointment last week, I was dilated 2 cm and 70% effaced.

38 weeks pregnant with Eli, Oliver, and Isaac.

Oliver: 5 Years Old

Dear Oliver,

You are such a sweet, precious little boy that I simply can't get enough of. You're the cutest thing I've ever seen with your chubby cheeks, your big brown eyes, your full red lips, and your little lisp. I took you to get your lisp evaluated by the school district but they told me it wasn't anything to worry about at this age. They said if things haven't improved within the next few years, then you could use some intervention, but until then, it was nothing to worry about.

You love watching TV shows and movies more than anything in the world. Maybe you love it so much because I try restrict it a lot and if I let you watch it more often, it wouldn't feel like such a special treat to you. We have a routine lately where I let you watch a show every day after preschool while Isaac is having quiet time in his crib. With it being so close to the end of my pregnancy, I usually need to rest too, so I'm ashamed to admit it, but I usually let you watch for an hour and a half or so. You love it so much and I get to rest too, so I guess it's a win-win.

You love to follow me around the house and tell me the plots of the shows you watch in great detail. You tell the stories soooooo slowly and with way more detail than necessary. I try my hardest to act interested because I want to make what's important to you important to me too, but boy, is it hard! I usually just laugh internally at how cute you are. Most of the time you finally trail off before actually finish telling the story because you're even boring yourself. It's hilarious.

The past 6-9 months have been really rough with you- lots of tantrums, yelling, telling me I'm mean, refusing to do anything I ask. Both of us have shed tears of frustration with each other pretty much on a daily basis. But for some reason, your attitude has suddenly shifted the past month or so and things have gotten much easier. You are pleasant to be around. You do what I ask you to do. You're smiley and happy. Things have changed so much and I couldn't be happier about it! I honestly don't know the reasoning for the sudden change because I'm not really doing anything differently, but I'm very grateful that things are going better for both of us.

You are very independent. You can entertain yourself for hours on end and don't require much attention (unlike a certain six year old brother of yours). This is both good and bad. Good in the sense that I don't have to do as much for you, but bad in the sense that I don't get to do as much for you. You simply don't need me. This makes me feel distant and sad. I have to be more conscious to give you attention than your other brothers. Sometimes at night when I think back on my day, I'll realize that I hardly talked to you other than to tell you to get dressed or eat your food. That makes me sad. At least I realize this and I'm trying to be conscious of it.

You are still terribly picky about your clothes. It drives me nuts. Your rules for shirts are: 1. no buttons, 2. no stripes, 3. no plaid, 4. no pockets, 5. no collars, 6. no cuffed sleeves, 7. no plain tees. Finding clothes for you to wear is extremely difficult, as you can imagine. You also refuse to wear any bottoms other than jeans (no khakis, gray or black pants, etc) and insist that your shoes be at least 2 sizes too big. You also won't wear socks. Ever. Even in the winter when it was blizzarding outside, you'd wear your snow boots with bare feet. Gross! You hate wearing shoes and will take them off every chance you get. If we drive somewhere just a mile or two away, it's guaranteed that your shoes will be off by the time we get there. You also take them off at church every single week.

You're obsessed with being wrapped in soft blankets regardless of the temperature outside. It could be 90 degrees out and you'd want to be wrapped in a blanket. You drag them all over the house, including into the kitchen and bathroom (ewww!!!). You eat your morning cereal wrapped in a blanket, and more often than not, you spill milk on it. You love to lay around on our rugs and couches in your blanket. When I don't know where you are, I can usually find you wrapped in a blanket somewhere. It's thoroughly predictable.

You've enjoyed preschool this year but I haven't been very impressed with the preschool I sent you to. You're very bright, but I haven't worked with you as much as I worked with Eli, and you're not quite to the level he was at your age. I feel bad about this. #secondchildproblems. I bought you a workbook at Costco and am going to make you do the whole thing this summer before kindergarten starts. I've also been working with you on some simple sight words. You're a very smart little boy and I have no doubt that you'll do great in school. I'm excited to watch you excel. You're going to love kindergarten and I know your teacher will love you.

You're very athletic. You are playing soccer right now and are killing it. You're super aggressive. You run as fast as you can up and down the field and kick the ball with all your might whenever you're close enough to reach it. Whenever you do something particularly exciting, you hop up and down in classic Oliver fashion. I can't even explain how much I love watching you play.

You aren't shy at all and will talk to anyone, even adults. I love that about you. Adults always love you and think you're awesome. I think you're pretty awesome too. Your dad and I adore you and have a soft spot for you. You're an amazing little boy. I can't believe you're five! Thanks for being you and for making me so happy.

Love forever,
Mama

5 Year Old Stats: 
Weight: 44.2 lbs (70th percentile) 
Height: 43 3/4 in (61st percentile) 

36 Weeks Pregnant

Whoo hoo! Things are getting real around here! It's like a switch has flipped and all of a sudden I'm feeling significantly worse. The past few days, my energy level has been about a 3/10. All I want to do is lie on the couch and not move until this baby comes out. I feel like I can hardly take care of my boys. I have a feeling that survival mode isn't far off- you know, feeding the kids nothing but fast food and cereal, leaving all of the house work for Adam to do when he gets home, and never getting dressed for the day.

I had a little flu bug over the weekend with lots of vomiting and the other kind of yucky you-know-what that's too embarrassing to write about in a public forum, so maybe that's contributing to my all-over crappy feelings lately. Maybe I'm still kind of sick. Who knows? But I'm definitely not feeling great. I burst into tears last night thinking about how in the world I'm going to make it through the next month of my life. The thought of keeping up on the cleaning, feeding, laundry, carpools, soccer games, play dates, gym appointments, and momming makes me want to fall asleep and not wake up for another month. I'm going to have to rely on my Heavenly Father a lot to give me the strength to get through it all! It doesn't help that Adam has been working a lot so that he can get hours in before I really need help after baby arrives.

I was excited to have my doctor's appointment this week because this was going to be the first time I had an internal exam. I found out that I'm already 80% effaced and dilated 2 cm. I had a culture done to see if I'm group-B strep positive and an ultrasound to see if baby's head is still down. It is, thankfully. The ultrasound estimated that baby weighs 6 lbs 9 oz today and is measuring 5 days ahead of where he actually is. So I bet if I make it to 40 weeks, I'll have at least a 8 1/2 pound little guy! Dr. Ward says that based on my history, he'd be surprised if I went into labor before 39 weeks, but after that, it could happen anytime. I'm so excited!

Every time I picture having all 4 of my sons gathered around me in my hospital bed for the first time, I tear up. Just the thought of it makes me so proud. I still can't believe that I'm going to have 4 sons! The three I have now are such good boys and I'm sure #4 won't be any different. It's such a huge responsibility to raise them to be good men, but I'm confident that with the help of Heavenly Father and with Adam by my side, everything will be okay.

I ordered a new infant car seat for mister mister last night because the one we have now is expired. Part of me is really annoyed about it because really.... is our current car seat going to spontaneously combust because it's more than 6 years old?! I think it's just a marketing gimmick to get me to spend more money. But then I have the nagging mom guilt that tells me it's irresponsible to allow my baby to ride around in an expired car seat. So I bit the bullet and just ordered one. Ugh.

Until last night, I hadn't really considered the possibility that I could have this baby early, but now I'm realizing that it could happen and that I should be prepared just in case. I had Oliver a week early, after all. I'm trying to get things in order so that we're ready for this little dude sooner rather than later! The biggest things that need to be done are to move Isaac into the big boys' room and potty train him.

36 weeks pregnant with Eli, Oliver, and Isaac.

34 Weeks Pregnant

I know I sound like a broken record, but I'm still feeling really great! I forget that I'm pregnant sometimes. I don't have any swelling or stretch marks and I'm sleeping really well. My back hasn't been hurting either. I feel so blessed.

At my doctor's appointment this week, I found out that baby has flipped and is no longer breech! Yay for no c-section!!! I honestly wasn't that worried about it these past 3 weeks since my 31 week appointment, but I guess you could say that it was slightly concerning. I knew he'd flip because he's such a little genius. I'm measuring just a few days big. I wonder how big this little guy will end up being. For some weird reason, I always want my babies to be huge. I'm shooting for a 9 pounder this time! I was pretty close with Isaac at 8 lbs 10 oz, but I think I can do it! I just have to keep eating lots, which shouldn't be a problem. ;)

34 weeks pregnant with Eli, Oliver, and Isaac.

32 Weeks Pregnant

I can't believe I only have 8 weeks left! I'm starting to feel a little frantic about all of the things I need to get done before baby boy arrives, mainly to our house. We're going to put it on the market about a month after he's born, so I'm trying to get as much done as possible so I don't have to do it all after he's born. 

Baby weighs almost 4 lbs and is 17 inches long. I found out at my most recent doctor's appointment that the little stinker is breech! I'm only slightly concerned because I know he still has time to turn, but even the possibility of having to have a c-section freaks me out. 

hysically, I'm feeling great. I'm sleeping a lot better the past few weeks and I'm not having any aches or pains. I'm still going to the gym regularly and plan on going until the very end. 

I keep having dreams that this little guy has a head full of dark brown hair like his daddy. I hope it's true! It would be so fun to have a dark-haired baby for once! I feel so blessed to have made it this far and can't complain about anything, really.

32 weeks pregnant with Eli, Oliver, and Isaac.

30 Weeks Pregnant

I've been really down on myself about my weight gain and the way I look lately. You'd think that after doing this whole pregnancy thingb three times before, I could relax and remember that the weight will come off. It always does. But honestly, experience doesn't make it easier to watch the scale climb and my clothes not fit me on a day to day basis. It's hard! I don't ever feel cute or sexy. I feel nervous about how hard it's going to be to get it all off after baby boy is here. I hate how I look when I'm pregnant and especially postpartum. It doesn't help that I've gained a few more pounds during this pregnancy than I have with the others. Not much more, but a few to make me depressed. I just hope I don't get stretch marks this time.

It's so hard to have perspective and remember that none of this shallow stuff matters. Intuitively I know that the only thing that matters is growing a healthy baby, but it's hard to internalize that when I feel so dang fat and ugly all the time.

Baby boy is pretty active in my belly lately. I love feeling him kick and squirm around in there. It's so hard to imagine what he's doing in there all day. I can't wait to see him, hold him, and kiss his little face. Adam and I have both had dreams that he's going to come out with a head full of dark brown hair. I would seriously love that so much! It's crazy that my kids are 1/4 Mexican yet all of them have been fair-skinned blondes. For my last baby, I'd love to get one that is dark!

I haven't prepared for this baby at all yet. We need move Isaac out of the nursery and in with Eli and Oliver. The thought of having all three of them together in the same room freaks me out. They're never going to sleep!!! I'm trying to decide if I want to keep Isaac in his crib (he hasn't tried to climb out yet) or if I should put him in the toddler bed. I also need to decide if I'm going to potty train him before baby brother comes or if I should wait and do it after. I haven't packed a hospital bag and haven't bought anything for him. We really don't need much as far as clothes are concerned, but we do need a new baby swing and a new car seat (the one we have is expired). I've been trying to focus most of my attention on getting little things done around the house to get it ready to sell. Life is busy and we're going to have a crazy year! I'm excited for it all though.

30 weeks pregnant with Eli, Oliver, Isaac.

28 Weeks Pregnant

Time is ticking along and I'm still feeling great. It's hard to believe, but a lot of the time, I still forget that I'm pregnant. Today marks the beginning of my third trimester! Yippee! Baby boy weighs about 2 1/4 lbs and is the size of an eggplant.

Physically, I've been feeling great this past month other than the fact that I'm starting to feel BIG. I ran 3 miles last week while I was in St. George because the weather was so nice but regretted it immediately. My pelvis felt like it was going to split in half! I was so sore for the rest of the day that I could hardly walk. It took me a few days to recover and I decided that I definitely won't be doing that again until after baby comes!

I've been sleeping horribly lately. I never sleep well when I'm pregnant, but it's been on a completely different level the past few weeks. I feel like my sleep is really shallow and I never get very deep. I wake up a dozen times a night and feel awful every morning. I take a sleeping pill but it's like it doesn't help at all anymore.

I've also been having some anxiety lately, which is something I've never really dealt with before. I'm not sure if it's pregnancy related but it probably is since I don't ever get it otherwise. I don't really know how to deal with it. My sweet husband has been extra patient with me lately as I've tried to work through it.

I feel like I've never been this excited to meet one of my babies before. Every time I see babies these days, I get butterflies in my stomach. I'm so excited and nervous to meet this little guy! It's getting more real every day!

28 weeks pregnant with Eli, Oliver, and Isaac.

26 Weeks Pregnant

I've been feeling a little emotional and anxious lately. I'm not sure if it's pregnancy related or not, but my emotions have been all over the place lately. I had a big meltdown the other night over a million different things. I think I'm just feeling overwhelmed by the thought that I'm going to have 4 kids to take care of soon, building our new house, trying to run a household, and be a good wife and mother at the same time. It's a lot, and it all bubbled over into a big crying session that lasted at least an hour. Adam was really sweet through the whole thing, but honestly, I think he doesn't quite know what to do when I act like that.

Physically, I'm really starting to feel more pregnant. I'm bigger, heavier, slower, and everything is starting to hurt. I'm ashamed to admit it, but I've already gained 20 lbs! Eek!!! I'm trying my hardest to keep it under control, but I gain weight so easily when I'm pregnant. It hasn't helped that the weather has been so crappy the past month or so and I've had nothing to do but sit in my house and eat. I'll probably end up gaining at least 40 lbs when all is said and done, which is super depressing. It's funny because even though this is my 4th pregnancy, I'm still not used to the weight gain. It still sucks! My biggest fear if I end and a higher weight than ever is that I'll get stretch marks this time. I've managed to make it through 3 pregnancies without them and I'll die if I get them this time.

I've been feeling baby boy move, but definitely not as much as I did with the others. I'm sure this is because of my anterior placenta. There are some days where I have to really think about whether I've felt him yet that day. The boys have all felt him and they think it's really fun. I love when they gather around my belly and try to get in on the action. They're going to be such good brothers to him. I can't wait to see how they all interact with him!

26 weeks pregnant with Eli, Oliver, and Isaac.

24 Weeks Pregnant

24 weeks today! I'm so happy that I've made it this far! If baby were born today, he'd obviously been in a scary situation but would probably survive. This makes me feel so relieved to know! Baby boy weighs about 1 1/4 lbs and is the size of an ear of corn. He's getting big (and so is mama)! I've gained about 18 pounds already, which is a few pounds more than I'd gained by this point in my other pregnancies. I'm blaming it on the fact that I'm older and that this is my 4th baby. It's crazy how my body just packs on the weight when I'm pregnant. I gain weight so easily! I'm trying to be careful about what I eat and exercise at least 3 times a week, but it's still a struggle. I hope I can at least keep it under control enough that I can manage to make it to delivery without getting stretch marks. I've managed to make it through 3 pregnancies without them, and I'd die if I got them now!

I've been feeling baby move for almost a month now, although his movements haven't been strong enough for anyone but me to feel. Last night was actually the first time Adam was able to feel him move. The boys have been so sweet with baby. They love to gather around my belly to talk to him and try to feel him move. ❤️

I had some pretty bad sciatic nerve pain a few weeks ago but baby boy must have shifted because the pain stopped suddenly and I'm back to feeling great. I've already had to stop jogging at the gym because every time I do, I get contractions. I've been climbing the stair master instead and doing exercises like wall balls, weighted lunges, and squats. I'm starting to really feel the extra weight on my body. Exercising is getting a lot harder than it used to and the extra weight is definitely slowing me down. Despite all of this, I feel so grateful for my health and my body that's able to grow this baby! It's such a miracle!

I've started to get excited butterflies in my stomach as I've seen babies around town the past few weeks. I can't wait to see what this guy looks like and get to know his personality. Now if Adam and I could just come up with a name for him.... Naming humans is hard! It is definitely my least favorite part of having a baby. There's so much pressure to give him a good name that he's going to love and that's going to suit him. I pour over baby name websites all the time, but nothing jumps out to me. Thankfully we have 16 more weeks to decide!

24 weeks pregnant with Eli, Oliver, and Isaac.

Isaac: 2 1/2 Years Old

Dear Isaac,

Words truly can't describe what a joy you are. You get sweeter and sweeter every day. You're incredibly affectionate and love crawling into my lap for snuggles, tickles, and attention in general. You are my sweetest little buddy. I love spending my days with you. You're an intense child. You need attention all the time, not in an annoying way, but you just always like to be near me. You talk nonstop and ask a million questions during the day. By the time you go to bed at night, let's just say I'm ready to have a little break from you. But then an hour later, your dad and I are talking about all the funny things you did that day and are looking at pictures of you because we miss you so much.

You give the sweetest compliments. No joke, multiple times a day, you tell me that I'm nice, pretty, and a good mommy. Your compliments are always completely unprompted and are so genuine. I can't help but smile at your kind words. You are such a ray of sunshine. You are also very good at saying thank you without being prompted whenever we give you something. It's so refreshing after rarely hearing those words from a certain two older brothers of yours.

Your obsession with piggies has grown even deeper. You insist on sleeping with a dozen of them every night and you carry your most beloved one around the house with you all the time. I don't let you take him into stores or restaurants but make you leave him at home. I don't want you to get in the habit of dragging him around everywhere we go. I don't want him to get lost but more importantly, I don't want him to get filthier than he already is! He always looks so gross.

I still put you down for a "nap" every day, but you only fall asleep about once a week. I wish you'd sleep more, but at least I get a little break from you while you're having your quiet time in your crib. You're never mad to be in there. You just talk and sing and play with your stuffed animals until I come get you. I usually leave you in there for an hour or so before I get you out. You always tell me that you slept even if you were talking loudly the whole time. So funny, You're great about going to sleep at nighttime. You're usually out like a light as soon within a minute of us leaving your room.

I want to potty train you before your baby brother is born, but I don't know if it's going to happen because of your fear of pooping. You only poop every 4 or 5 days. You'll pace around in discomfort for days, freaking out about how scared you are that it's going to hurt. You hold it until you literally can't take it anymore and then you finally let it out. I give you Miralax all the time so it's never hard, so I don't know why you're so scared to go. You've actually pooped on the toilet twice. I made a huge deal out of it both times (I called family to let you brag about your big accomplishment, bought you presents, took pictures of you next to the potty, etc) but the excitement hasn't been enough to make your fear go away. Hopefully we can get this issue resolved soon so we can bite the bullet and take your diapers away for good.

I love you to the moon and back,
Mama

2 1/2 Year Old Stats: 
Height: 37 inches (73rd percentile)
Weight: 31.6 lbs (76th percentile)

22 Weeks Pregnant

Oh boy, the quality of this picture is terrible, but what can ya do? I have to take these pictures by myself with a tripod and it's hard for the camera to focus on a blank wall. When I walk into the frame, the focus is never quite right no matter how I try to adjust it. It's so frustrating!

Pregnancy-wise, things have started to get real the past few weeks. The most exciting development is that I've started to feel baby boy's movements! They're not very strong yet and feel more like twitches than anything. But he's definitely moving around in there and getting bigger! I love it every single time I feel him move. It's such a strange feeling to have something alive and moving around inside of me, but I feel so honored to have the task of making a temporary home for this little boy.

The other development is that I've started having pain in my pelvis, lower back, and the sciatic nerve running down into the right side of my butt. I can feel my hips widening and my pelvis opening up. If I don't rest enough during the day or do something too physical, I hurt worse. There have been days where the aching is so bad that I can hardly think about anything else. The funniest part though is that whenever I lie down to rest, my boys immediately come over to me to climb all over me, particularly little two-year-old Ike. He thinks it's time to rough-house even though all I want to do it take a little break!

While I was jogging on the treadmill at the gym a few days ago, I had my first Braxton Hicks contractions. I couldn't believe it! They came on really suddenly and surprised me. They went away  almost as soon as I slowed down to a walk, but I was pretty bummed because I don't remember ever getting them this early in pregnancy with your brothers. I hate thinking that I'm going to have to start taking it easier already! I'm a busy lady with three little boys and it's going to be hard to slow everything down!

20 Weeks Pregnant

Today marks the halfway point of my pregnancy! I can't believe how quickly it's going. I had my 20 week ultrasound this morning and as I laid back in the chair and watched my little boy dance across the screen, I couldn't help but cry as the technician told me that he looked completely healthy and normal. I feel so blessed to have yet another perfect little boy, almost a little guilty, because I realize there are so many women that struggle through complicated pregnancies and babies born with health problems. So many women struggle to get pregnant and it usually happens for me the first month we try. So many babies are born with major problems, and even though we're not out of the woods yet, everything looks good so far. I feel very grateful.

I've felt all of my babies move by this point in my other pregnancies, but because of my anterior placenta, I haven't felt this little guy yet. At least I don't think I have. It's hard to tell for sure. Over Christmas break while we were in St. George, I was laying in bed and I felt a big twitch. I'm not sure if that was the baby, but either way, I don't think it's going to be too long before I start feeling him consistently. I'm looking forward to the baby's movement though because it's one my my very favorite parts of being pregnant.

I had my first complete stranger ask me when I was due a few days ago. It was kind of exciting to hear that question because that means I'm past the awkward point of people just wondering if I've put on a few pounds and into the stage where I actually look pregnant. Yay! I love looking pregnant.

I'm feeling great these days. I have lots of energy, almost to the point where I feel hyper all the time. It's hard to make myself sit down during the day or go to bed at night because I'm never very tired. At my ultrasound, the ultrasound tech told me that the baby weighs 9 ounces and is the size of a banana. It's crazy how tiny he still is! I know he's getting cuter every day in there and I can't wait to see his little face!

20 weeks pregnant with Eli, Oliver, and Isaac.